Marlboro Employs Paris Hilton

Ack, close enough, anyway. She recently said how she adores the way she looks when she smokes, that 'smoking is so sexy. It's like so cool how you all smoke everywhere in the UK.' Well, not anymore Paris, as whilst you're encouraging impressionable young whippersnappers like myself to take up the dirty cancer-stick, the rest of Britain is gearing up towards the non-smoking ban which will affect every pub in several years. And what of Dot Branning, the ciggie-addicted old bat on your nan's favourite show, Eastenders? She will be forced to quit too, as even the Beeb will be pushing the ban. Here's hoping ol' Dot will turn to something a bit healthier, like crack. [Katherine Hannaford]