Planning a Best Man speech at someone's wedding soon? Forget those books that promise to hand you the perfect speech on a plate, and just bow at the feet of Dec Donnelly, who did the honours at pal Ant McPartlin's wedding this weekend. His speech appears to have gone down well.
"As you know, I'm the best man... I've always known that, it's just taken Ant a while to realise. Traditionally, the best man offers words of advice on girls and marriage. I don't know why they've asked me - I don't have a girlfriend and I'm not married... But I'm sure there's a girl for me just round the corner - unless the police have moved her on from there last night!"
A lucrative career awaits as the new Bob Monkhouse (or at least as a wedding-night speech writer). Meanwhile, the wedding guests happily jigged the night away to - no, not AntMusic - but the Kaiser Chiefs' 'I Predict A Riot'. [Stuart Dredge]
