So, the girls have to pick a boy to partner up with to make new perfect couples. Before making their choices, the ladies of the island assemble together to decide who they're going to pick, as they're clearly incapable of original thought without consulting with another non-celeb. As the girls gather round, Sophie Anderton decides to imitate a foghorn, declaring over and over: "I'M PICKING SHANE". Despite no one arguing with her or challenging her choice, she continues to yell that Shane is her's.
Really, the woman is becoming an embarrassment. After selecting Shane - who didn't look exactly pleased - he gave her a shoulder massage for all of twenty seconds. Sophie then spent an hour telling anyone who'd listen that he'd given her said massage and that that, clearly, meant he wants to marry her and make her have his Irish babies.
Before Sophie's madness, Paul Danan is given the dubious honour of selecting a girl to be his partner, as a treat for being new to the show. In a display of incredible arrogance, Paul decides to pick the one girl who's actually in a semi-relationship on the island - Leo's lucky lady (I don't mean that, it's just good alliteration), Bianca. As Paul later points out, he could pick who he wanted, but surely he could have shown some loyalty to his fellow man and made his choice like a gentleman. But no, this is Paul Danan, he had to be a wanker about it. Leo managed to react gracefully, which made me wonder what Sophie would do if someone had selected Shane before her. Would she have reacted with such aplomb? Or would we have had our first reality TV murder?
Later in the day, Sophie spends awhile crying in the Island Diary Room (my choice of description, not the producers, but that's essentially what it is), lamenting her luck at falling for someone on a reality TV show (did she miss the concept of the show when she signed up?) and saying that Shane probably didn't feel the same way. As she left the diary room, she bumped into Shane who asked if she was okay. She replied that she was and Shane displayed his complete lack of interest by accepting this response, despite the fact she was still semi-crying.
Later still, the islanders were disturbed by a new playmate, Steve-o, of Jackass fame. Now considering I have a brain and a mature sense of humour, I've never watched Jackass, so to me he's just another nobody who I shall rip the piss out of over the coming weeks.
Steve-o did have one use pretty much immediately - he woke the other blokes' up from their boring habits. As testosterone poisoning set it, the boys indulged in a towel-whacking fight, where Brendan tried to show his manly side by barely flinching when hit.
It didn't help, as Steve-o later asked the group who they thought was gay - him or Brendan? Brendan didn't react well, which I find bizarre. This man is a bloody dancer, surely he's well used to defending his sexuality by now? Brendan bitched to Shane then puffed up his chest and flirted with any woman going - except poor Kelle - to prove how manly he is.
Shane took Steve-o to one side and basically told him he was being a tosser. Steve-o then went into the diary room and said how much he respected Shane for calling him on his behaviour, talking about the ex-Boyzoner like he was some kind of God.
The next day, Steve-o tried to persuade Lee to tell Bianca how he felt. A very drunk Lee had a good go at it, but was constantly interrupted by Steve-o, who flirted with Bianca and filled the air with sexual innuendo. Bianca ignored Lee's words of love and giggled idiotically at Steve-o's antics.
Shane and Collen ended up in the Love Shack for the evening. I have to admit I don't know why, as I didn't see the first part of the show, but I'd imagine Sophie was less than pleased. While God Shane was away. Steve-o was generally an arsehole, annoying everyone, but quickly stopped on the return of Shane.
So here's an overview: Sophie loves Shane, but may have competition in Steve-o, who clearly thinks Shane is the best thing, like, EVER. Lee loves Bianca but she doesn't care. Who knows what Victoria and Chris have been up to - even the cameramen don't care, we so rarely see them on screen. Kelle continues to adore Brendan from afar and he continues to not give a fuck.
See you tomorrow!
