Honestly, what DO we pay our celebrities for? We shower them with gifts, attention and abuse, and all we ask in return is that they do something interesting every once in a while so that we can write about it in a mildly satirical way. It's the circle of life.
All too often at the moment, celebs are lying low and doing very little to tweak our gossip antennae. Take Jordan and Peter, for example. Admittedly after Jordan's recent miscarriage she needs to sit back and recuperate, but there's nothing stopping Peter popping to the shops for a pint of milk wearing a giant sombrero, is there? But no, all they've done recently is go on holiday, where they're reputedly trying to make another baby. By having sex a lot. They're also playing cards, drinking cocktails, and having singing lessons. Not a sombrero in sight, giant or otherwise. [Toni Kelly]
