I haven't been updating about Love Island recently, mainly because it became so boring I couldn't bear to watch it. From what I can gather, some unknowns came and spent time on the islands, then left. Paul Danan got voted out, as did that Leo bloke, and Shane Lynch decided to walk. Then, all of a sudden, it got interesting again!
First off, Lee - who was head over heels for Colleen - got a chance to spy on her and heard her telling everyone she didn't fancy him. He then confronted her and got a bit violent, at one point spitting: "No, fuck you Colleen." He reduced her to tears, actually. He had to be calmed down, which Brendan attempted, only to have several choice expletives thrown in his direction as well. Bianca also had a go at intervening, but was politely asked to leave Lee and Colleen alone. Or something like that. [Toni Kelly]
But the story of the moment is really all about Sophie Anderton. Is this the least self-aware celebrity in the land?
Firstly, Sophie falls in love with Shane. She bores everyone rigid talking about him, spends hours analysing his every word he says to her and she also talks about him in the Beach Hut (I learnt what it was called!). When Shane announces he's leaving, she's in tears.
Then suddenly, like magic, she's okay again and has moved on to poor Chris Brosnan. They spend awhile kissing and cuddling, then Sophie manipulates the Daily Decider, asking poor Kelle to throw the competition so Sophie can go on the day trip with Chris. When they get back, Sophie trills about their "connection" and doesn't react well when Kelle says their relationship isn't real. Sophie, love, no one thinks your little alliance with Chris is real.
Then - dun dun dun! - the producers of Love Island have a brainwave and bring back Victoria Hervey for a chat with Sophie. If you remember, Victoria and Chris were pretty close before Lady V was booted off the island. Sophie has spent many hours in the Beach Hut saying she thinks Victoria will be "cool" with Sophie's relationship with Chris - but boy is she wrong!
The whole confrontation was laughable. Victoria had a bit of a go and Sophie said "well that's your opinion" several times. Sophie had been rocked earlier in the day when words she'd said came back to haunt her in the daily task, and she continued her denial trip by telling Victoria nothing had happened, to which Victoria rightfully responded "I've been watching it!"
Sophie is unbelieveable. The woman is the biggest bitch on the island, but goes and says she isn't and even says "I'm glad I'm not a bitchy person". HELLO?! What the hell are you thinking?!
When Sophie leaves, having had a bottle of wine poured over her, Sophie goes and tells Calum she's upset but "can't say anything". Then she... erm... says everything. She then goes and tells Kelle and has a good cry. Then she tells the group, and has a good cry. And bingo, she's got what she wanted - to be centre of attention.
Brendan stands up for Victoria, only to be interrupted by Lee, who really seems to have taken agin the New Zealander. Brendan later reflects on what he said, and says my TV moment of the year: "... and then Twat Features interrupts..." referring to Lee. It's a fitting nickname.
Then - and this really is the best bit - Chris goes and dumps Sophie! It spins around in her head and she's soon telling people how it was a mutual decision.
She's the most deluded person I've ever seen on TV. And for that, she's a treasure to watch. Keep it up, Sophie, I'm loving hating you!
