Top Ten Stories

RobinsonhudsonGoldie-spawn Kate Hudson splits from homeless-lookalike husband, Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pretend to be good samaritans but it doesn't fool us.
Drew Barrymore is a-cluck-cluck-clucking her way into popping out some children soon with Strokes hunk-a-spunk, Fabrizio Moretti.
Firecrotch rears its ugly, dirty, fiery head in the form of Paris Hilton and her music producer, Scott Storch, after a Justin Timberlake concert. Yes, you read correctly, after a Justin Timberlake concert. The horror.
Brad Pitt takes kiddywinks to work with him, using the day-care centre facilities that 'anybody working on the lot, including secretaries and executives' can use. Double horror! Common people, argh!
Excuse me whilst I vomit, but James Blunt's debut album, 'Back To Badlam' has recently been made the second best-selling LP of the decade. Seriously, who buys his music? Deaf people?
Babyshambles were forced to cancel last night's gig in Ibiza due to Pete Doherty realising his passport had expired. If only it had expired outside the UK so he couldn't come back in!
Paris Hilton's debut album has launched exclusively on AOL Music from today, a week before anywhere else. Don't scramble too fast for your credit card, there.
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are reportedly engaged, after she was spotted wearing a huge vintage diamond ring given to her by her on-off boyfriend. Jade Jagger is meant to throw them an engagement party in Ibiza this weekend - if Pete sorts out his passport dramas (see above).
Suri is seen in the wild by a 'commoner' (none of those schmancy Scientologist people this time), but it all sounds very fishy to us. Fishy as in Tom-Cruise's-flack-paid-someone-to-off type fishy.

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