Jay Kay makes late bid for inclusion in next Virtua Fighter game

Pap photo of the day, if not decade, is Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay squaring up to photographers outside London nightclub Kabaret (left). Look at that karate pose! Straight arm, clenched fist, booze-fuelled rage-on-face and, er, the punch missing by miles. Nevertheless, it’s a marvellous photo.

The Sun’s story suggests that Jay’s rage was due to thinking the paparazzi were waiting for him, when in fact they were after Lindsay Lohan. I reckon he lost his rag when one of them shouted “Move along beardy, I can’t get a decent shot of Li-Lo’s tumpsy!”

Tabloid Tales: Patsy Kensit providing inspiration for toyboy rapper

Patsy Kensit must be wondering whether to feel flattered or outraged. Boyfriend Killa Kela has apparently asked for Emmerdale DVDs on his backstage rider at the DMC World DJ Championships, so he can watch her in action in past episodes. “Killa’s asked for the DVD to entertain him while he gets ready,” a source tells today’s Mirror. Well, they do say a good belly laugh beforehand helps your performance.

I’d be more impressed if one of the top DJs manages to incorporate Patsy’s classic single ‘I’m Not Scared’ into their set at the competition.