Google Wars is no respecter of friendship. Don't be under any illusion about that, y'hear? Sorry, came over all action-hero for no apparent reason there. Anyway, this week saw a return to our airwaves after an absence of, oooh, minutes for Ant and Dec. Since the early days on Byker Grove these two have been nigh-on inseparable. I can't be the only one who secretly thinks that they live together, with a single bed each, much in the fashion of Bert and Ernie off Sesame Street, can I? Can I? CAN I?
Anyway, with the two of them having insurance policies taken out on one another, there can be no doubt that Dec and Ant are a duo, a twosome. So many lyrics, they're frightened to use 'em. So many lyrics, they keep them in stores. They've even got them coming out of their pores. So the rumour goes, anyway. Well, we thought we'd drive a Google-war shaped wedge between the two of them. We're so nasty, but you love us. So, LET'S GET READY TO RHUUUUUUUUUMBLE!
First up is Ant. Using the name "Ant McPartlin" we hit up the famous search engine to see who has the more results in a Google search and is, therefore, morally superior. And Ant has ... 59,400. That's not very many at all. Let's try "Declan Donnelly", then. Crikey! He has 205,000! Now, even allowing for the fact that Donnelly is a more commonly-occuring surname than McPartlin, that makes Dec the winner. If he's smiling more than usual at the start of Saturday Night Takeaway this weekend, you'll know why. [Toni Kelly]