The Great British public should not be allowed to vote in polls

Keiraknightley Sorry, that may sound harsh – and could cause a few problems for our entire system of parliamentary democracy – but it's the inescapable conclusion from a couple of stories in today's papers. First, Victoria Beckham has been voted the country's top "yummy mummy" on account of "always looking perfectly groomed". That's not grooming, that's not-eating! Second and third places were taken by Nigella Lawson and, er, Angelina Jolie. Who's not even British.

More proof that us humans are just too stupid to be allowed to vote on anything comes in a poll for Yahoo to find the greatest ever movie starlet. Keira Knightley takes the prize, just ahead of Judy Garland and Scarlett Johansson. Yahoo defines a starlet as "an actress who people instantly think of as being young, vivacious, stylish, popular and – most of all – talented." So what Lindsay Lohan (yes, yes, yes, hmm, and er...) is doing at number six in the chart is anyone's guess.

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