The Top Five Acne prone Celebrities: Because even stars have bad skin days

It’s not fair and it’s not funny; spots my friend are no laughing matter, they can lead to scars, stress and seriously bad photo’s but yet we celebrate. And why do we rejoice? Is it out of the darkness of our mean little hearts? No it’s a celebration that celebs too can be human, and as open to bad skin days/ sweat patches/ and VPL’s as the rest of us mere mortals, therefore thankfully realigning the boundary ever so slightly and making us feel, well, more normal.

Number 1: Cameron Diaz

Yes, the super cute Shrek star, and all round surfer babe Cameron has had trouble of the pimpled variety, suffering nasty looking spots on her cheeks and the blush inducing rosacea on her forehead and throat. A diet of clean living, fruit juice and exercise soon put an end to the troublesome skin, and Cam returned phoenix like, even more beautiful than ever, snaring a trousersnake on her return to glory, then discarding him for other more grizzly animals..

Number 2: Alicia Silverstone

This Clueless star always seems to look peachy clean, but twas not always the case, proving the magic of some well placed concealer can apply even to the A listers. We know it’s not full blown acne, but even the pimples of the stars help us in our search for seeing the human withinn, and below those designer frocks and botoxed lips they have the same dimpling and spots that we do to.

Number 3: Jessica Simpson

This lady’s struggle with skin has been well documented, ending in her lucrative Pro-activ contract, so this is one woman who knows how to sell, and how to market herself. Bad hair day? Jess does hair extensions. Bad skin day? She sponsors a blemish cream. Bad bellybutton day?  She has her own line of bellybutton powder. (Really. This is a little to far) Now you can aspire to her skin should you buy the products, or you can really piss her off and get something from lil sis Ashlee’s range.

73521393Number 4: Billie Piper

Ex Dr Who hottie, former teen star and previous Mrs Chris Evans, Billie has been through a lot in her young years so perhaps it’s not that surprising that all that stress and hormone imbalance caused her skin to break out so vehmently, crying, ‘Water, water! No more beer..’ It’s all A OK nowadays though, and she’s even managed to snare herself a hot new boyfriend who has aims at husbandship..

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Number 5: Britney Spears

It’s no surprise this once teen queen has suffered the curse of spots, after all, her fall from grace has been well documented, and it’s a rare day we don’t see her scoffing down a burger or slurping from Starbucks. Once she could do no wrong, then it all turned about head and suddenly even when she tries it seems that Britters just can’t do anything right nowadays, being hailed as a bad mother, a washed up singer, an overweight dancer (unfair) and pizzaface. Charming. I’m however of the pinion that all these media slights will make Ms Spears stronger than ever, and she’ll come fighting back with another annoyingly catchy song we can’t get out of our head.

And just to show that men suffer to..

LeoLeonardo DiCaprio!

Yes, this hunk of manhood and darling of Hollywood once suffered from the terrible teenage trauma of acne! i don’t know why this should warm us quite so much, but considering he went on to be the star of Titanic/Catch me you can/ Blood Diamond, I guess it just shows there’s hope for us all yet.

Top Five celebrity Flashers: The stars who can’t stop showing their naughty bits..

Seriously, Celebs just can’t seem to keep it under covers nowadays, be it a nip slip or a crotch shot there is far more flesh on offer than you want with your cornflakes. Of course, I’m sure there are a lot of men out there who appreciate all the ‘oops, i forgot my underwear.. again!’ shots, but a lot of us heartily wish they’d kept their knickers on. We ain’t talking all hot honeys either; there’s a lot of wrinkly flashes on offer, yummy! So this post is dedicated to the stars who just can’t keep it covered; some good, some bad, some just really sad.

Number 1: Britney Spears

Oops she did it again.. and again.. and again. Yes she is trying to make a comeback, but from the recent shots I have seen all the slips have been accidental.. and that means decidedly lacking a glamour factor. Yes, I know she’s a mum, and she’s battling baby weight and hair extensions, but there is no excuse for not covering those bosoms. It;’s not like she’s fifteen anymore and can get away with going bra-less.

See after the jump for more X rated flashers.

Number 2: Paris Hilton

These pics are crimes against the poor public eyes,, and fodder for picture hungry paps.. please, please, put it away Paris! At least while she’s locked up we’ll be spared all this fanny gazing rubbish she is so fond of, but on her release I’m sure the crotchless wonder will return. Her partying with Britney has done her no favours, as since Britters started hanging out Hilton style it was more than boobs that were getting revealed. At least we know they both favour the Hollywood wax (for the uninitiated, that means all off; like you can’t tell.)

Number 3: Janet Jackson

Who could forget that infamous duet with Justin Timberlake, or how he manfully tried to cover Janet’s bared breast from the flashing cameras. we;re talking serious wardrobe malfunction.. but it is slightly suss that she already had some sort of nipple clamp, attached, almost as if she was just waiting for that straining PVC to drop. To be fair, i can’t think of anyone who would voluntarily reveal that so it’s probably fair to say it was a genuine nip slip, unlucky for us.

Number 4: Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton

Now when the said nipple in question is attached to a perky pretty slip of a girl it somehow doesn’t seem as bad as when the oldies show off their goodies, but when you are young and attractive, do you really need to flash for attention? Lindsay and Mischa  would still of made the papers anyway, and I’m not sure how this these slips could really boost their career of profiles, other than ‘the wild child does it again’. Well, that’s more Lindsay to be fair, as Mischa is normally known more for her Chanel dresses than her boobs, but she does seem to have chosen an unfortunate top for the evening. White crochet with no bra?  It seems planned to me. Try something new for a change girls.

Number 5: Judy Finnegan

Who could forget that gaping greying bra that accidentally hit us bang slap in the middle of an awards ceremony? For a mature lady she certainly does fill it out, but still, invest in some more attractive, well fitting underwear before you air that monstrosity in public. I feel a promotion with Marks n Sparks coming on..? Richard must love those dumplings int he sack.. please  Judy, we love you really, but PUT THEM AWAY.

And the lesson for the day folks.. if it ain’t pre watershed we don’t want it. Celebrate your natural beauty and save the X rated pics for the bedroom. God bless.

Kate Middleton chooses vibrators over men

Kate is a girl after our own hearts. Rather than fretting about her messy public break up with the lovely Prince William she goes out and drinks her sorrows away. It seems she is putting men on the back burner for a while as when she attended the Rabbit Fever party, she was seen happily looking at the infamous rabbit vibe, and wearing bunny ears all night long.

No longer do women need to sit home bewailing their lack of a man,now sisters can do it for themselve; and with long life batteries we’re always guaranteed a good time. Hear hear the single revolution; with Kate spearheading it life has never been better.