Courtney Love sets her sights on David Walliams

LONDON – MAY 10: (UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) Actor David Walliams arrives at a private gig to be perfomed by Prince at Koko on May 10, 2007 in London, England. The pop superstar is due to play ’21 Nights in London’ in the capital later this summer, starting on August 1 at the O2 Arena. (Photo by Dave Hogan/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** David Walliams

David Walliams, star of Little Britain and famed serial womaniser might find himself in a sticky situation soon enough as Courtney Love has declared her plans to bag him as her boything. Scary.

Each of the stars has a rather colourful relationship history with David being linked to nurse-gone-amateur pornstar Abi Titmuss and ex-Spice Girls mentalist Geri Halliwell. Courtney of course gained fame as the ex-wife of Kurt Cobain. But she seems to have gotten a taste for the Brits after being linked to Noel Fielding from BBC3 show The Mighty Boosh.

Courtney has apparently told pals that she wants Walliams to star in her new film about Nirvana – and hopes offering a role to the 35-year-old will help her to get close to him on set. A friend told the Daily Star: “She thinks he would be brilliant in it and says he is uber-fit. She’s vowed to get her claws stuck into him and finds him hilarious.”

Sounds like more of a threat than a request to me David. Run for the hills! (Oh, and have you seen her new teeth?!)

In the news: Britney may be in the baby way and Lindsay Lohan looks lovely

-The lovely Lily Allen is at it again; blogging intimate details about celebrity friends for the whole MySpace community to read. her latest gaffe? Apparently ‘hanging out with Courtney Love made her want to go to rehab’. Nice. [The Sun ]

-Is that a bump Britney Spears is showing? The singer who has worked so hard to lose her post pregnancy pounds may be in the family way again. The question of the daddy is also an issue, with rumours saying Britters isn’t sure which man impregnated her. Could it be former lover and drug counsellor, John Sundahl, or her bodyguard, Daimon Shippen? She’s come a long way from her virginal days… [Metro ]

-Girls Aloud are planning to grow up, and no I don’t mean they will start lowering their hemlines or addressing each other as ‘Women’, but instead they plan to create a more ‘adult’ sound. ‘We’re obviously getting older and we always, you know, like to try and push things forward‘, said Kimberly. [Digital Spy ]

-Keeping off the booze seems to agree with Lindsay Lohan if her tanned toned bikini clad physique is anything to go by. Her ankle monitor unit is still prominent but she manages to carry it off with decided style. Sigh. [TMZ ]

Top 5 Worst Celebrity Mums: The stars who should never have been allowed to procreate

My mum is tops, and like a good daughter I am suitably adoring. But I know others aren’t so lucky and have to struggle on as best they can by themselves. Some women are just not naturally maternal and as such can find motherhood a struggle. But celebrities excel at everything, don’t they? If they can sell out concerts in minutes, win Oscars and pen best-sellers and all the while look radiant and flawless, then surely they must make perfect parents? We bring you the top 5 most questionable showbiz mums, and honestly it was hard limiting it to five (Britney didn’t even make the list!)

Number 1: Kate Moss                             

Yes, Kate Moss has a child. A four year old girl in fact, called Lila Grace who lives with her. Kate is one of the world’s most photographed women, constantly makes headlines internationally and yet her daughter remains mysteriously mysterious. On the one hand, this could be due to Moss protecting her precious infant from the intrusive media glare, but on the other it could be that she’s been too busy getting high, ‘designing’ Top Shop clothes and dating Pete Doherty to notice that crying bundle in the corner (I suspect the latter.) With a mum known for drugs, sleeping around and looking like a gaunt tramp, we should book Lila Grace her spell in rehab now.

Number 2: Whitney Houston                  

Cocaine Kate is a junkie novice when it comes to Whitney. The ex Mrs Bobby Brown is mummy to 14 year old daughter Bobbi Kristina Houston Brown, but her parenting duties never held her back when it came to her partying ways. Her own sister even sold a picture to the National Enquirer of her bathroom cluttered with drugs. But it’s not just the drugs. Whitney has a rumoured eating disorder, has sold off her own clothes to stave off bankruptcy and was being sued by her own father when he died in 2002. She has undergone rehab, with many fans hoping that with her recent divorce from bad influence husband Bobby Brown, she can finally sort herself out. News that she is now dating infamous sex-tape star Ray-J rains on that parade.

Number 3: Dina Lohan                       

The fact that I have even heard of Lindsay Lohan’s mum says it all. The ultimate ‘pushy mum’, Dina is an attention-seeker, happy to ride the coat-tails of her famous daughter to achieve her own fame. She has indulged and even benefitted from Lindsay’s much-publicized addiction problems and has used the media as a tool in her war against her former husband and Lindsay’s jailbird father Michael. In Hollywood she has surreptitiously campaigned to earn a spot as one of the presenters on US talkshow ‘The View’ and is now in talks to do a reality show tentatively called ‘Mom-ager.’ This programme will follow Dina as she tries to turn Lindsay’s younger siblings — Ali, 13, and Cody, 11 — into stars. Well, the first child turned out so well, so why not?

Number 4: Courtney Love

Courtney had a troubled childhood and having learned from the experience, seems to have successfully provided her own daughter with one as well. Love is most famous for being the widow of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain, a marriage which spawned their now 16 year old daughter Frances Bean Cobain. Yes – shit name, even worse mum. Vanity Fair alleged in 1992 that Love continued to shoot-up during the early stages of her pregnancy (she denies it) and as a result the couple were investigtaed by Child Welfare Services and the girl removed from their custody for a period. Love has been on and off the drugs over the years and as such in and out of rehab. She’s had run-ins with the law and after experiments in plastic surgery and extreme weight-loss, even looks like a complete mess.

Number 5: Jade Goody

I’m not one to kick when someone’s already down, but I have never been a fan of Jade Goody and so feel entitled to weazle her out as a bad showbiz mum. Goody has two sons, Bobby Jack and Freddie, from her rocky (violent) relationship with fellow reality TV star Jeff Brazier. Jade has not only endured public wrath over her apparent racism towards Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty, but also had her collar felt by the Police. She was arrested on suspicion of stealing a jacket from Asda, apparently punched a grandmother and was recently found guilty of two counts of driving without a licence and driving with no insurance, receiving a 6 month driving ban. All this and she can’t tell her left from her right – good luck kids, you’re going to need it.