Simon Cowell hires fag break minders
Poor old Simon Cowell. The high waist banded one has been forced to get in extra security for the new series of The X Factor so that he can continue having a fag without getting leapt upon by fans and... well... people who want to hit him. In previous years, The Cow' was able to light up in the studios but the new smoking ban has put an end to that.
A source told the Daily Star: "It's a nightmare for smokers now - especially famous ones like Simon. He used to light up during the ad breaks on The X Factor. Sinitta rushed on to light up his cigarettes. It's just incredible that our highly paid stars have to stand outside the studios if they want a cigarette. It really is very embarrassing and undignified seeing someone like Simon Cowell lighting up in the street. It's a real security nightmare. Anyone could have a pop at them." Jesus wept.