My mum is tops, and like a good daughter I am suitably adoring. But I know others aren’t so lucky and have to struggle on as best they can by themselves. Some women are just not naturally maternal and as such can find motherhood a struggle. But celebrities excel at everything, don’t they? If they can sell out concerts in minutes, win Oscars and pen best-sellers and all the while look radiant and flawless, then surely they must make perfect parents? We bring you the top 5 most questionable showbiz mums, and honestly it was hard limiting it to five (Britney didn’t even make the list!)
Number 1: Kate Moss
Yes, Kate Moss has a child. A four year old girl in fact, called Lila Grace who lives with her. Kate is one of the world’s most photographed women, constantly makes headlines internationally and yet her daughter remains mysteriously mysterious. On the one hand, this could be due to Moss protecting her precious infant from the intrusive media glare, but on the other it could be that she’s been too busy getting high, ‘designing’ Top Shop clothes and dating Pete Doherty to notice that crying bundle in the corner (I suspect the latter.) With a mum known for drugs, sleeping around and looking like a gaunt tramp, we should book Lila Grace her spell in rehab now.
Number 2: Whitney Houston
Cocaine Kate is a junkie novice when it comes to Whitney. The ex Mrs Bobby Brown is mummy to 14 year old daughter Bobbi Kristina Houston Brown, but her parenting duties never held her back when it came to her partying ways. Her own sister even sold a picture to the National Enquirer of her bathroom cluttered with drugs. But it’s not just the drugs. Whitney has a rumoured eating disorder, has sold off her own clothes to stave off bankruptcy and was being sued by her own father when he died in 2002. She has undergone rehab, with many fans hoping that with her recent divorce from bad influence husband Bobby Brown, she can finally sort herself out. News that she is now dating infamous sex-tape star Ray-J rains on that parade.
Number 3: Dina Lohan
The fact that I have even heard of Lindsay Lohan’s mum says it all. The ultimate ‘pushy mum’, Dina is an attention-seeker, happy to ride the coat-tails of her famous daughter to achieve her own fame. She has indulged and even benefitted from Lindsay’s much-publicized addiction problems and has used the media as a tool in her war against her former husband and Lindsay’s jailbird father Michael. In Hollywood she has surreptitiously campaigned to earn a spot as one of the presenters on US talkshow ‘The View’ and is now in talks to do a reality show tentatively called ‘Mom-ager.’ This programme will follow Dina as she tries to turn Lindsay’s younger siblings — Ali, 13, and Cody, 11 — into stars. Well, the first child turned out so well, so why not?
Number 4: Courtney Love
Courtney had a troubled childhood and having learned from the experience, seems to have successfully provided her own daughter with one as well. Love is most famous for being the widow of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain, a marriage which spawned their now 16 year old daughter Frances Bean Cobain. Yes – shit name, even worse mum. Vanity Fair alleged in 1992 that Love continued to shoot-up during the early stages of her pregnancy (she denies it) and as a result the couple were investigtaed by Child Welfare Services and the girl removed from their custody for a period. Love has been on and off the drugs over the years and as such in and out of rehab. She’s had run-ins with the law and after experiments in plastic surgery and extreme weight-loss, even looks like a complete mess.
Number 5: Jade Goody
I’m not one to kick when someone’s already down, but I have never been a fan of Jade Goody and so feel entitled to weazle her out as a bad showbiz mum. Goody has two sons, Bobby Jack and Freddie, from her rocky (violent) relationship with fellow reality TV star Jeff Brazier. Jade has not only endured public wrath over her apparent racism towards Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty, but also had her collar felt by the Police. She was arrested on suspicion of stealing a jacket from Asda, apparently punched a grandmother and was recently found guilty of two counts of driving without a licence and driving with no insurance, receiving a 6 month driving ban. All this and she can’t tell her left from her right – good luck kids, you’re going to need it.