Silly story of the day: Kids think Simon Cowell is baby Jesus...

... and President Obama is a reindeer.

Education, ain't what it was in our day if this story is anything to go by. Apparently one in four children quizzed in a recent survey think that Christmas celebrates the birth of Simon Cowell in Brentwood, Essex rather than Jesus in Bethlehem.

The survey of 1000 school children commissioned by Woolworths.co.uk also showed that one in ten reckon the Three Wise Men (Prince Charles, Gary Barlow and Mark Wright obvs) heard about the birth of baby Jesus via Facebook. Oh, and that song they sing every year about Rudolph? It's all lies because Pippa Middleton, David Beckham, Tulisa and President Obama actually pull Santa's sleigh. 

We would be impressed that they've rightfully told Woolworths where to stick their quite frankly stupid survey, but we can already feel Simon Cowell's ego creaking under its now biblical strain...