Just last week, Dean Gaffney got rather excited when he was invited in to the Radio One studios to switch on Chris Moyles' Christmas lights.

He does it every year, and he seemed pleased to be out of the house - even saying he was "happy just to have a job this year". Well, now that Wellard's been put down (along with that awful shiny jacket he used to wear as Robbie Jackson in 'Stenders), he hasn't got much to get up for in the mornings - apart from playing Wishy Washy in Aladdin with Brian Bellow in Mark Wright's home county (it's only a matter of time before Mark joins him, he's been banging on about an acting job after all).

Once we'd mopped up our tears, and finished grabbing tins of sliced peaches from the cupboard for a Gaffney shaped food parcel, we wondered what we could do to really help. You know, get the great man back on his feet so he can at least land a bingo ad - or failing that a pound shop opening appearance. And then it came to us, he can play The People's Prince Charming in Star Trip's very own panto: Cinderella.

But, just like The Big Issue, we don't believe in handouts so he's got some competition from Paul 'the man' Danan because let's face it Celebrity Love Island was so long ago that Lady Victoria Hervey (what the hell happened to her) had a minidisc player. In fact, he's so out of work, that he spends his days accidentally publishing his phone number on Twitter and trying to get Imogen Thomas' attention - we can't work out which one is more stupid.


So, who gets your vote? Compare their campaigns (probably Photoshopped by us and nothing to do with them), and let us know below. Oh, and just in case they're reading: it's a joke sillies, we ain't paying you.