Star Trip: Burn The Witch!

May 25, 2007 3:47 PM

Marilyn Manson in "not suitable to be introduced to your Mum" shocker

When it comes to things you shouldn't talk about when meeting your friend's mum, vaginas would probably be near the top of your list. This apparently obvious unwritten rule has clearly been driven out of Mazza Manson's brain by years of devil-worship and groupies, because when he met Justin Timberlake's old dear, as LondonNet details, his opening gambit went thusly: "Did you know that a woman has three holes between their legs?"

Now, assuming this has been quoted correctly, it's hard to know where to begin. Apparently Mazza had been watching a "sex documentary", and the nugget above is what he learned. To start with - the grammar, which is a satanic tangle of singular and plural. What do they teach our stars at Rock School these days?

More important, obviously, is the claim that ladies have 2 more orifices (Orifii? Please?) in that area than previously thought. Of course one does have to wonder whether this "documentary" was some mutilation-heavy specialist title. Maybe drills were invol(Thank you - Ed). You never know with that Mazza, who has covered JT's "What Goes Around Comes Around" for Jo Whiley's Live Lounge. At any rate, with this and his current pervtacular video, it's pleasing to see him living up to his rep as a generally freaksome weirdo.

Posted by Aigua on May 25, 2007 in Burn The Witch! | Permalink | Comments (6)

August 23, 2006 1:12 PM

Burn The Witch! Lindsay Lohan

Here's a new feature for Star Trip, inspired by the treatment in the media of certain female celebs, as well as some half-remembered history lessons from my youth about Joan Of Arc.

Anyway, every week we'll be taking a celeb who's come in for serious flak, and outlining the reasons why she could be Evil Incarnate or The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread. Then you tell us what you think. Without further ado, Lindsay Lohan is the first subject. How could we choose anybody else, after all?

BURN HER!

1. She doesn't turn up for work on time, which in her case means hundreds of other actors, crew members sitting about twiddling their thumbs. Mogul James Robinson publicly slammed her "discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional" actions after heavy partying kept her away from the set of upcoming flick Georgia Rule.

2. She appears to have contracted that celebrity disease that makes your boobs inflate rapidly while the rest of your body withers away, defying the rules of biology and gravity. See also Posh Spice. Nobody's fooled!

3. Harry McFly? Tsk, woman. Was no-one available from the Arctic Monkeys?

4. Beatles fans got narky when Lindsay signed up to appear in a film about John Lennon's killer. It's not surprising given her musical form – her last album wasn't even released in the UK, reportedly because she couldn't be arsed to promote it.

5. She's *whisper it* not actually that good at acting. Or singing. Yet she's made millions from it already. Grr.

SAVE HER!

1. Lindsay wants to open a tattoo parlour for her celebrity mates. Note, this would be even cooler if she was planning to handle the needlework herself. Although not after a late night out. And she walks the talk by having 'La Bella Vita' tattooed on her ~~bum~~ lower back.

2. Any friend of Herbie's is a friend of Star Trip.

3. She was banned from Justin Timberlake's recent Vegas gig for the amazingly po-faced reason that his label didn't want "Lindsay getting hammered and making a spectacle of herself". Like that's not what gigs are for.

4. Paris Hilton getting her producer lackeys to snigger about Li-Lo's 'firecrotch' smacks of playground bullying to me. Even if Lindsay did nick her boyfriend.

5. She got kicked out of LA's Trendy Chateau Marmont for loud partying. Rawk!

THE VERDICT...
Well, that's up to you. Should Li-Lo be burned at the stake, or simply be given a big steak and some comforting advice? Post your comments below. Note, Star Trip cannot guarantee a well-done Crispy Lohan if you vote for the former option.

Posted by Stu on August 23, 2006 in Burn The Witch!, Lindsay Lohan | Permalink | Comments (3)

August 14, 2006 4:13 PM

YouTube Video of the Day - Brad Pitt gets interviewed by Raphael Mezrahi

I like seeing people get stitched up. I like this video for the same reason. This guy, Raphael Mezahi has stitched up Brad Pitt good and proper. What is interesting is how Pitt ends up taking the michael out of Mezahi toward the end. I wonder if he's like that with everyone who can't speak English properly.