September 30, 2009 10:14 AM

Keisha axed from Sugababes through jealousy?

keisha buchanan.jpg The story of the Sugababes has fast become one of the most interesting and weird stories in pop. Here, we have a group that contains precisely zero original members. Those that remain in the group, including Eurovision entrant Jade Ewan, have already started to receive hate-mail.

Now, Keisha Buchanan, the final head to roll, believes that her bandmates forced her out of the group because they were jealous.

Related: More Sugababes gossip
According to The Mirror, writers and producers who worked with the third lineup believed that Buchanan was more talented than her fellow singers Heidi Range and Amelle Berrabah.

A source said: "The girls were jealous as Keisha would meet up with Kylie's writers, including Kathy Dennis, without them to create some of their biggest hits.

"When they had meetings with their management there was a perception Keisha would be credited as the only Sugababe worth dealing with. In some instances producers refused to start any work in the studio unless Keisha had arrived."

Range and Berrabah have stated that the group's lineup changed because they "couldn't work" with Keisha any longer.

The plot thickens.

Posted by mofgimmers on September 30, 2009 in Sugababes, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 27, 2008 2:57 PM

Elle Macpherson's drug smuggler lover

Ellemcferson Supermodel Elle Macpherson's new boyfriend is a convicted cocaine smuggler who spent four years in an Australian jail after attempting to bring 2kg of the drug into the country.

Elle Macpherson's new boyfriend is a convicted cocaine smuggler.

The 44-year-old supermodel began dating British-born Brian Burgess, 56, after his removals firm Aussie Man and Van helped her move house earlier this year.

It has been revealed Burgess spent four years in an Australian jail after he was convicted of attempting to smuggle 2kg of cocaine into the country from America in 1996.

Aussie Man and Van manager John Hess confirmed Burgess' drug conviction, but insists he has now put the episode behind him.

Hess said: "That's all in the past. This guy spends most of his time counselling people with drug and alcohol addictions."

Burgess was deported back to England after he had served his sentence, leaving behind his wife Jennifer and their three young children.

Speaking at the time, Jennifer said: "He was always a good dad. Unfortunately he lost the plot for a long time."

Burgess emigrated to Australia aged 17 and quickly found work as an airline sales manager.

However, his life spiralled out of control when he lost his job. He started drinking alcohol heavily, using cocaine and developed eating disorder bulimia.

He eventually lost his £600,000 home and racked up drug debts of almost £20,000.

During his trial, Burgess told the court he had been a regular cocaine user in the seven months prior to his arrest.

Posted by Maus on October 27, 2008 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

August 12, 2008 1:20 PM

Hayden Panettiere's father arrested

Hayden 'Heroes' star Hayden Panettiere's father Alan was arrested on charges of domestic violence early on Monday morning (11.08.08).

Hayden Panettiere's father Alan was arrested on charges of domestic violence early on Monday morning (11.08.08).

The 'Heroes' star's father allegedly struck his wife Lesley in the face during an argument at around 3am in the morning.

It is claimed the couple were at a party at Eva Longoria's restaurant Beso on Sunday night (10.08.08), before they returned home and the argument began.

Law enforcement sources told gossip website tmz.com Alan was upset because Lesley had got too close to another man at the party and was "disrespecting" him.

During the argument, Alan allegedly hit Lesley on the cheek and left a visible mark. However, despite being advised to go to the hospital, Lesley refused.

Following the incident, Alan was arrested on a felony charge of domestic violence and taken into police custody. He is being held on $50,000 bail.

Hayden, 18, has a younger brother, 13-year-old actor Jansen Panettiere.

Posted by Maus on August 12, 2008 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

July 25, 2008 2:32 PM

Jimi Hendrix: The computer game

Hendrix Jimi Hendrix is set to be immortalised in the latest edition of the computer game 'Guitar Hero'.

Jimi Hendrix is set to be immortalised in a computer game.

The legendary guitar player will be revived in the latest edition of 'Guitar Hero' which is due to be released in the autumn.

The 'Foxy Lady' singer - who died after drowning in his own vomit, after taking prescription drugs and drinking red wine in 1970 aged just 27 - will feature as a playable character in the game.

His song 'The Wind Cries Mary' and a live version of 'Purple Haze' recorded in 1969 at the San Diego Sports Arena will feature on 'Guitar Hero: World Tour', with more of the rocker's back catalogue available as downloadable content.

The fourth version of the game will include an eight-player Battle of the Bands feature which allows two groups - each boasting drums, guitars and microphones - to compete against each other.

Many bands have enjoyed a new lease of life after allowing their songs to be used on the game.

Legendary heavy metal group Iron Maiden reported a surge in downloads after several of their tracks, including the classic 'Run To The Hills', were featured.

Posted by Maus on July 25, 2008 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 16, 2008 5:56 PM

Ellen and Portia, Cynthia and Christine... a good week for lesbian couples

Nix Who among us doesn't feel themselves make a slightly patronising "aw" noise when looking at these pictures of the Sex and the City star with her girlfriend Christine Marinoni? It's just the loveliest thing I ever saw and even better for being slightly unexpected (the Daily Mail are still picking their jaws up off the floor, which is always fun). Ellen and Portia I find less winsome, somehow. Not sure what it is; they're a bit too photogenic I think. But it's still a real pleasure to bring you the news that they're probably going to get married.

Posted by Maus on May 16, 2008 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 21, 2007 10:00 AM

In the news: Weller praises Wino, Katona attacks Marsh and Ozzy's willy

Ozzy- Keira Knightley might have established her name with Hollywood blockbuster films such as the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy and King Arthur, but the actress with body issues (she did call herself “big”) is keen to move away from them. She says, "I can't imagine ever doing another one. I had five months off from Pirates during the summer last year, when I made Silk and Atonement, and it was so great - I want to be able to explore emotions in smaller projects." So she wants to blight quality, mature films with her ‘acting’ instead of expensive American ones – got it. [IMDb]

- Paul Weller has defended tabloid favourite Amy Winehouse, calling her a “great role model.” The Modfather, who has worked with Wino in the past, is obviously hoping for a musical reunion: "She is an amazing, great talent and, despite what all the papers say, she is a great role model for people and I don't think the drugs and the drink and all that make a scrap of difference really." Tell that to the fans she regularly disappoints by cancelling her gigs. [Female First]

- Obviously determined to make the nation feel nauseous, Sharon Osbourne has been talking about her and husband Ozzy’s sex life. According to the X Factor judge, Ozzy is “like a rabbit, he’s terrible. Every song gets him in the mood for love. He’s just like that battery. Instead of that little rabbit they should have Ozzy’s willy banging a drum.” An image guaranteed to make stomachs lurch. [The Sun]

- Kerry Katona hasn’t been in the papers for a few days now and so has opted for the failsafe headline grabber: badmouth another celebrity. Over to Kerry: “I can't believe that stupid cow Jodie Marsh has married Matt Peacock. I think she's spent her whole life trying to be Jordan and now she's married Kate's ex. She's got sloppy seconds. How low can you go?” I don’t know Kerry, you tell me. [Now magazine]

Posted by Katie Button on September 21, 2007 in Amy Winehouse, Film Stars, Gossip Rag Roundup, Keira Knightley, Kerry Katona, Musical Stars, Rag Roundup, Tabloid Tales, UK Stars | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 20, 2007 10:53 AM

In the news: Kylie for the Brit Awards, Wino wins MOBO & Sian Lloyd's bum

Amyw- Amy Winehouse scooped the prize for best female at last night’s MOBO awards. Beating Jamelia, Joss Stone, Corinne Bailey Rae and Beverley Knight to the honour, the bee-hived wild-child not only made it to the awards ceremony, but performed as well. Reports say she was a bit rubbish though. Damn – so close. [The Daily Mail]

- Kylie’s big comeback continues with news that the pint-sized pop princess will be performing at next year’s Brit Awards. The show’s organisers are also in talks with Robbie Williams, with rumours that he will come back ‘from the ‘dead’ by rising from a coffin. Can’t he just take the hint? [The Sun]

- Now I’m no Jamelia fan and frankly hate that Superstar song, but the long-legged diva has earned some brownie points by speaking out against the size zero craze: 'People like Nicole [Richie] are hyped as being stylish but they're emaciated. Why would anyone want to look like that?' Why indeed. [Now magazine]

- TV weather girl Sian Lloyd and Joseph star Lee Mead have won this year’s awards for Rear of the Year. The vote was in support of the Beating Bowel Cancer charity and at 49, Sian is the oldest recipient to be decorated for her derriere. Just proves that if you’ve got it, flaunt it! [The Daily Snack]

[Image via Getty]

Posted by Katie Button on September 20, 2007 in Amy Winehouse, Gossip Rag Roundup, Kylie Minogue, Musical Stars, Nicole Richie, Rag Roundup, Robbie Williams, Tabloid Tales, UK Stars | Permalink | Comments (1)

September 19, 2007 10:44 AM

In the news: J-Lo is pregnant, Angie isn't and Jodie Kidd's career woes

Jodie_kidd- We all know J-Lo has plenty of junk in her trunk but does the star now have a bun in the oven? The singer/ actress who had been trying to get knocked up for the past few years by hubbie Marc Anthony could even be expecting twins. A source revealed: “the test calculated that she was about 12 weeks pregnant. The way the foetus is lying made it difficult for the doctor to tell if there was more than one baby in there." Let’s hope she’s in the family way and it’s not just some trapped wind. [IMDb]

- If the drugs rumours circulating about Jodie Kidd prove true, the model could be set to lose up to £500,000 in modelling contracts. So far Jodie has kept quiet on her reported cocaine habit – come on girl, let’s hear your side of the story. [the Daily Mail]

- Another Hollywood star keen to get up the duff is Brad Pitt’s lady friend Angelina Jolie. Busy collecting her Benetton collection of children, the Tomb Raider star mistakenly thought she was pregnant, only to be told by her doctor that she is too thin to conceive. Get scoffing those biccies now! [The Sun]

- Now that she’s had to abstain from the booze during her pregnancy, Charlotte Church has realised that she was pretty unpleasant when rat-arsed. Speaking to Cosmo the Welsh diva confessed that pregnancy “made me realise what a bad drunk I was. I would get nasty, aggressive and jealous. Drinking doesn't suit any of the women in my family.” Let’s hope she stays off it once she's given birth. [Now magazine]

Posted by Katie Button on September 19, 2007 in Angelina Jolie, Baby Watch, Brangelina, Charlotte Church, Drug Scandals, Film Stars, Gossip Rag Roundup, Jennifer Lopez, Musical Stars, Rag Roundup, Tabloid Tales, UK Stars | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 14, 2007 10:40 AM

In the news: Colin Farrell splashes out & Lily Allen goes glam

Lilybraun_450x450- Irish heartthrob Colin Farrell has deep pockets as shown by him taking homeless chum Stress on a shopping trip in Toronto. The actor shelled out over £1000 on the man telling assistants: "Get him anything he wants. Whatever he needs.” Now you mention it Colin, there are one or two things I could do with. [the Daily Mail]

- Hell’s Kitchen might have taught model and WAG Abbey Clancy a thing or two about nouveau cuisine, but she knows what she likes. The girlfriend of footie star Peter Crouch has admitted since leaving the show that “I’m sick of rich food. I want some normal food, like beans on toast or a ham sandwich.” Sounds good to me. [The Sun]

- Coleen McLoughlin is desperate for her parents to leave their home in Liverpool after the shooting of school boy Rhys Jones. Having endured years of death threats against her loved ones, Coleen is hoping they will move in with her and fiancé Wayne Rooney in Cheshire. I'm sure they could pay their way, doing the ironing or something.[Now magazine]

- Usually seen scuffing about in battered trainers and colourful dresses, Lily Allen has gone glam for an advert for the Braun Satin Hair range. I wouldn’t mess with her while brandishing some heavy hair-straighteners, would you? [the Metro]

Posted by Katie Button on September 14, 2007 in Coleen McLoughlin, Film Stars, Gossip Rag Roundup, Lily Allen, Musical Stars, Tabloid Tales, UK Stars, Wayne Rooney | Permalink | Comments (2)

September 13, 2007 9:47 AM

In the news: Hayden is single, Kylie's comeback and an X Factor snub

Haydenpanettiere- If young blondes in cheerleader outfits are your thing, then good news: Heroes actress Hayden Panettierre is now available. The pint-sized star has ended her relationship with Stephen Coletti and is now free and single. Form an orderly queue boys. [TMZ]

- That VMAs fiasco refuses to die, with everyone still busy dissecting the wreck that was former pop princess Britney Spears. Now sources close to the star have revealed that she applied an ab-defining spray tan before the show to “create the illusion of more tone.” Having fled from the stage after her act screaming that she was a “fat pig”, I guess Britney didn’t think it worked. [Us magazine]

- Someone hoping to make a more considered comeback is Kylie Minogue. New single 2 Hearts is scheduled for a November release with an album later that month. Dig out your hot pants girls! [Perez Hilton]

- Ben Mills from last year’s X Factor (you remember him, the one with the tatty long hair and gravelly voice) has turned his back on the ITV1 singing contest. He has rejected an offer to appear on this year’s series and has sought to distance himself from the show, urging people to forget he was on it. All too easily done Ben. [Digital Spy]

Posted by Katie Button on September 13, 2007 in Britney Spears, Gossip Rag Roundup, Kylie Minogue, Musical Stars, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, UK Stars | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 12, 2007 12:08 PM

In the news: Kylie's new hair, Big Brother stars sing and The Beckhams 'over-hyped'

Bbsam1- Kylie has been spotted with a new strawberry blonde bob hairstyle. Looking good lady! [The Sun]

- Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson is set to appear in the upcoming Sex and the City movie as Carrie Bradshaw’s assistant. She needs an assistant? Why didn’t she advertise on YouTube like P Diddy? [IMDb]

- The Beckhams have topped Radar magazine’s poll of the most over-hyped people on the planet. David was described as an "overpaid soccer star" while Victoria was labelled a "pointless collection of body parts.” Still, as long as she carries a donor card she could prove useful one day. [Digital Spy]

- Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Big Brother twins Sam and Amanda Marchant are launching an assault on our ears with their cover of Aqua’s cheese fest hit Barbie Girl. Let’s hope it charts as well as other BB star’s singles, anyone remember Craig from BB1's Xmas ditty? [the Daily Mail]

Posted by Katie Button on September 12, 2007 in Big Brother, David Beckham, Film Stars, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Kylie Minogue, Musical Stars, Rag Roundup, Tabloid Tales, UK Stars | Permalink | Comments (3)

August 13, 2007 4:37 PM

Cheeky Girl says no sex to MP

Cheekylembit

The thought of a Cheeky Girl having sex is enough to put you off your cornflakes. Remembering them saying 'touch my bum' is enough to put you off living. So with that, you'll be glad to know that Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia has imposed a sex ban on her fiancé Lembit Opik.

The singer is suffering from kidney stones, and a three-month course of drugs has failed to solve the problem. She will travel out to her home country of Romania next week to be operated on by her father, who works as a doctor, before getting plenty of bed rest.

"Gabriela has been told that she has to lie down and not move for the next month," her mother Margaret told The Sun. "Doctors say sex is out of the question. She has even had to cancel her holiday with Lembit." She added: "He's arranged a romantic cruise for when things are back to normal. I'm sure they'll make up for lost time then." *Vomits*

Posted by mofgimmers on August 13, 2007 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (2)

July 3, 2007 5:57 PM

Bedingfield in 'no pants' shocker!

Beding_2

At first, the blind revelers at the Concert for Diana had thought that they'd had a trick played on them. The feint waft of fish and horrendous warblings led them to believe they'd been dumped in Cleethorpes with a broken ghetto blaster. Thankfully, they'd gone to the right place, and the mystery was unraveled today when Natasha Bedingfield admitted that she did not wear underwear for her performance at the Concert for Diana.

According to The Sun, the singer made the confession backstage after the gig had finished: "I've got nothing on underneath this dress!" Bedingfield performed her single Unwritten at the tribute concert, which was watched by a worldwide audience of 500 million. Presuming there were no Cylops types in the audience, that's 1000 million sobbing eyes. 

Posted by mofgimmers on July 3, 2007 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 16, 2007 3:03 PM

Shabs's shame: Talent Show Junkie

You've heard all about Britain's Got Talent, you might even be unfortunate enough to have seen it. Well, if you're a fan or you're not, this clip will split your sides or make you cringe unbearably. For me it was the latter. Watch Shabnam of Big Brother making an absolute tit of herself for our enjoyment. And let's be honest, it doesn't get much better than this.

Posted by Orla Doherty on June 16, 2007 in Big Brother, Simon Cowell, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, UK Stars, YouTube Videos | Permalink | Comments (1)

March 22, 2007 10:55 AM

Anna Nicole Smith baby DNA testing underway

Dna_cpk_lgOne of the greatest mysteries surrounding the death of former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith is shortly to be resolved. DNA samples from her daughter, Dannielynn, and prospective father Larry Birkhead have been taken, and paternity testing is due to begin.

Howard K. Stern, who was named as the baby's father on the birth certificate, has not provided samples for testing. As the named father on the birth certificate, he is presumed to be Dannielynn's father unless the paternity testing proves otherwise.

The saga surrounding Dannielynn's parentage is more soap opera than real life - in addition to the two prospective fathers named above, Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Frederic von Anhalt has claimed he is the father, and rumours persist that Dannielynn was conceived using the frozen sperm of J. Howard Marshall, Anna Nicole Smith's billionaire late husband.

Posted by Aigua on March 22, 2007 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 21, 2007 12:49 PM

Paris Hilton may have another sex tape. Yawn.

200pxparisdvd2 Some women just ooze grace and charm. Paris Hilton is not one of them. Amazingly made famous by a sex tape in which she couldn't be more disinterested if she tried, the blonde celebutard who would go to the opening of an envelope has since been all over the internet for copious drug-taking, racist sing-alongs, and a steady stream of impeccable behaviour not limited to pissing in a taxi.

So what's the latest news in Hilton land? Another sex tape. The interweb is aflame of news of a sex tape of Paris and Cee-Lo from Gnarls Barkley. Media Take Out has what it claims is a picture from the tape of the pair in a compromising position. It could be them. It might not. You decide.

Posted by Aigua on March 21, 2007 in Hot Gossip, Paris Hilton, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (1)

March 19, 2007 12:47 PM

Britney's rehab love is a gentleman not out for any free publicity

Wire2iy Britney Spears really can pick 'em, can't she? With the exception of Justin Timberlake, I don't think she's had a single man not do some form of kiss n' tell, poor lamb. And while I do pity her for her atrocious man-picking skills, it's hard to dredge up too much sympathy when the singer - who's still actually in rehab - is breaking the cardinal rehab rule of not getting emotionally or physically involved while undergoing treatment. You're all over the place getting treated, the logic goes, therefore you're not in the right place to make judgements about people. Additionally, relying on someone else for support means you're not relying on yourself - if they leave your life, you can find yourself back on square one within minutes.

So there are many reasons to put the champagne back on ice following the 'Britney's rehab love' announcement. The main one? The man himself, Jason Filyaw. In his own words: "I’m not going to sell her out. ... There is always at least some truth in all these crazy stories. I’m just trying to keep things under wrap right now to protect so many people. So you can ask me if we are seeing one another as much as you like but all I can say is ‘I’m sorry but I can’t comment’. It will all come to light very soon, I promise you." Sounds more like a 'where's my money, In Touch magazine?' than a no comment to me. I can see the millions of dollars and free publicity he sees in her. Question is, how much of the crazy has she got to be to see anything at all in him?

Posted by Aigua on March 19, 2007 in Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Relationship Watch, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tara Reid invests in LA burger joint

Tarareid_300x2981 Poor Tara Reid has suffered quite a lot at the fickle hand of Hollywood, and we at Star Trip feel bad for her. One day her partying ways were seen as young and fun, the next day she's an alcoholic has-been. One day she's the quintessential all-American teen pin-up; one botched boob job later and she's a laughing stock denied entry to clubs frequented by Paris Hilton. Which many would say is a good thing...

But Tara is a fighter, and while there's been no official statement to the effect that she's backing out of movies for good, she is increasing her investment in LA's restaurant scene - the actress, who currently owns stakes in Geisha House, The Shore and Bella, is also involved in ritzy fast food joint Ketchup, which is due to open 31st March. While there's not much news of Ketchup yet, the decor is said to be up-market designer kitsch, and there have been rumours of a $25 sloppy joe on the menu (that's like bolognaise sauce in a bun, English readers).

Posted by Aigua on March 19, 2007 in Tabloid Tales, Where Are They Now? | Permalink | Comments (1)

February 2, 2007 3:56 PM

Channel 4 is playing it safe

Ch4l_175x125_2 With all of the extreme reactions to the controversy surrounding Channel 4's Big Brother, it's no wonder they decided to pull the plug on a collection of upcoming shows entitled "Wank Week". The shows were set to spotlight compulsive male masturbators, and masturbating skills for girls, however, it's not really the time for Channel 4 to be, erm, pushing people's buttons.

Chief Executive of Channel 4, Andy Duncan, says, “It's a typically provocative, Channel 4 thing to do. It'll come and go, so to speak." Another spokesperson for Channel 4 says that the shows "will be shown in due course" and that they're "shifting a few things which might cause flare-ups". Probably a smart move on Channel 4's part, as they do need to rebuild their relationship with Ofcom; particularly when they're looking for £14million from the TV licence fee to switch to digital by 2012.

Posted by Cate on February 2, 2007 in Big Brother, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

January 18, 2007 12:44 PM

T.R. Knight talks on Ellen

Tr_knight Last October there was the huge amount of drama surrounding the TV show Grey's Anatomy. Apparently, Isaiah Washington referred to cast mate T.R. Knight as a "f****t" while arguing with Dr.McDreamy Patrick Dempsey. Washington has made statements denying the incident, and that, "There is no way I could do anything so vile." Talk of the controversy died down over the past few months, until Washington brought it up again during interviews at the Golden Globes. He's sticking to his story by denying he ever said such a thing, and added the pompous comments of, "I love gay. I wanted to be gay. Please let me be gay."

It would be really nice to think that Washington never said such a thing, but after watching the interview below, with Ellen DeGeneres and T.R. Knight, you may start to wonder why the hell Washington still has a job. TV Guide's Michael Ausiello recently wrote an article wondering the exact same thing. Ausiello said Washington's "continued employment on a show that wears its diversity as a badge of honor is the height of hypocrisy". He also went on to say that ABC should do "the right thing" and "fire Washington".

Especially with the racial controversy surrounding the Big Brother house in the UK, it really makes one wonder if these TV stations really care about the well being of their cast, or just making entertaining television. Bullying should be unacceptable. Making racist and offensive comments that degrade someone's lifestyle or background is disgusting. So, why are television stations such as ABC and Channel 4 not growing more of a backbone and setting a proper example?

Posted by Cate on January 18, 2007 in TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, YouTube Videos | Permalink | Comments (1)

January 17, 2007 12:02 PM

Barker and Moakler still getting divorced

0116_travis_shanna_false_1 Rumours have been circulating that Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler have gotten back together. Perez Hilton's reported that they're on a "tour of love" and were seen cuddling at Disneyland. However, Shanna has decided to speak up and squash the rumors on her Myspace blog.

Shanna wrote, "Travis and i are not back together. we are working on being good friends and even better parents, we did celebrate our daughters first birthday at disney with our friends and family and our children it was really fun!" Who cares that Shanna doesn't like to punctuate things correctly, or use capital letters! She's apparently punched Paris Hilton in the face, and that's all I need to know. And kudos to them for pretending to get along for the sake of the children.

Posted by Cate on January 17, 2007 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 12, 2006 8:57 PM

Top Ten Stories - Sienna Miller Looks Under 21, & Angelina Jolie Is A Murderer's Muse

Sienna_4Finally, someone puts holier-than-thou Sienna Miller in her place and denies her entry to a club, sadly for not having ID, not for being a stinky actress.
It seems being in close proximity to Angelina Jolie turns people into fighting-machines, as her driver hits a motorcyclist in India.
Contrary to all the rumours circulating about her and Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston told Oprah they're still together. Does this mean they're an official couple now?
Kevin Federline is understandably insecure about his marriage with Britney, and has convinced her not to lose her baby weight so she won't get so much male attention.
Nick Lachey blames their Newlyweds reality show as the instigator to his marriage break-up, and not say, Jessica's infidelity.
80s-throwback Justin Hawkins comes out of rehab and quits The Darkness, blaming his cocaine problems on being in the novelty band. Quite understandable - we'd be addicts too if we looked like that.
Nicole Richie debuts her new red haircolour with a new man. Needless to say, we preferred the old look better, in more ways than one.
Elle Macpherson has dropped her lawsuit against Heidi Klum over the use of her nickname 'The Body', after meeting the Dalai Lama. Bet he loved admonishing her on her childish fight with the fellow model, dirty thing.
Because apparently SpongeBob SquarePants is the new Simpsons, David Bowie adds to his archive of cameos and makes a guest appearance on the underwater show as Lord Royal Highness.
Desperate for attention, P Diddy has revealed that he never loved Jennifer Lopez to begin with. Neither did we, mate, neither did we.


Posted by Katherine on October 12, 2006 in Angelina Jolie, Baby Watch, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Britney Spears, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Musical Stars, Nicole Richie, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Sienna Miller, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (1)

October 10, 2006 8:42 PM

Top Ten Stories - Kate Moss Worst GF EVAH!!1!!1! Plus George Lucas Gives Us What We Want, For A Change

Kate_3Kate Moss pussywhips Pete 'Back on Crack' Doherty into leaving Babyshambles and going solo, as if that will be the end to their troubles. Hah!
George Lucas shuffles into his old-age home as he talks of pleasing us all and  retiring.
Victoria Beckham doesn't just scare us when she looks into a mirror, she scares herself as well, moaning that she looks awful nekkid.
Yet more talk of Anna Nicole Smith in the news, as she is attacked over claims she was fast-tracked a Bahamian citizenship.
Like we don't need any more excuses to want to sleep with Scarlett Johansson, she has come out and admitted she gets tested for HIV every 6 months.
Not just content with having one alien-child, Katie Holmes is already planning on a second, discussing her pregnancy plans with oh-so-fertile Victoria Beckham.
Looks like someone got some action, after Nicole Richie was seen doing the walk of shame from Paris Hilton's house the next morning after they had dinner together.
Things are definitely cold between Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, as he is caught smooching another blonde.
Kirsten Dunst is to do us all a favour and quit movies to go back to school.
Those two characters off Lost, the junkie ex-hobbit, and hot Kate who can't decide between Sawyer and Jack, are getting married in real life.

Posted by Katherine on October 10, 2006 in Baby Watch, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Moss, Katie Holmes, Lindsay Lohan, Musical Stars, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Posh 'N Becks, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Scarlett Johansson, Spice Girls, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open, Tom Cruise, TomKat, Victoria Beckham | Permalink | Comments (0)

October 9, 2006 9:27 PM

Top Ten Stories - Madonna Adopts Orphan, But In More Breaking News, Paris & Nicole Are BFF's Again! Hallelujah!

Madonna_13'Holiday...Celebrate...Buy a baby...In Malawi', is reportedly the tune Madonna is humming, since she apparently did an Angelina Jolie and adopted an orphan, naming him 'Luca'. Sorry Madge, but adopting an orphan won't get you Brad, you're stuck with Guy and his crap movies for life.
Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton have reportedly sucked-face and made-up, leading many to wonder if there's another dreaded Simple Life in the works.
Lindsay Lohan obviously doesn't rate appearing at a benefit in Australia for kids and tweens very highly, as she skips out of the negotiations. She must've twigged that 13 year-olds are just far too young.
Chris De Burgh (get back in your box, raging-hormones), claims he can heal people with his hands. Me first! Me first!
Penelope Cruz naturally attracts beardy-lesbians. Like Tom Cruise.
The third, and ugliest Hanson brother has just married. Is there no hope for the rest of us anymore?!
Paris Hilton is snapped with some seedy looking skunk. Skank with some skunk, how's that for a new lyric, princess?
Following in the foosteps of Take That, and, err, 5ive, S Club 7 are reforming, heaven forbid.
Not content with appearing in the news only for being found slumped over his wheel on drugs, George Michael has announced Wham! are reuniting for a 'Christmas extravangza', hopefully sharing his drugs with the audience this time.
Russell Brand decides to do a Paris Hilton, and become celibate. Something tells me his attempt will be even more short-lived than hers.

Posted by Katherine on October 9, 2006 in Angelina Jolie, Baby Watch, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Drug Scandals, George Michael, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, Musical Stars, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Russell Brand, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (2)

September 18, 2006 4:23 PM

Top Ten Stories

Melgibson_1Yes, there really is a Mel Gibson video game, complete with tequila bottles and Star-of-David-throwing Rabbis.
Jon Heder, better known as Napoleon Dynamite, is expecting a baby.
Lindsay Lohan broke her wrist last Friday whilst partying. Hey, at least she didn't cover it up the way the Hoff did.
Katie Holmes is apparently having second thoughts about marrying Tom. If only she'd listened to Star Trip from the beginning...
Adam Ant claims his relationship with Heather Graham saved him from depression and suicide.
Elton John and George Michael are now BFF. Is it too soon to hope for a threesome?
Anna Nicole Smith is refusing to allow her baby's father from meeting her.
Jude Law is desperate to play a Romeo role before his good looks fade. Err...You're about 33 years too late for that, Judey-boy.
Scarlett Johansson speaks out over ultra-thin 'slebs, saying 'I don't need to be skinny to be sexy'.
Nicole Kidman will be riding husband Keith Urban's 'love bus' whilst he goes on tour for 6 months.

Posted by Katherine on September 18, 2006 in Baby Watch, David Hasselhoff, George Michael, Hot Gossip, Jude Law, Katie Holmes, Lindsay Lohan, Musical Stars, Nicole Kidman, Rag Roundup, Scarlett Johansson, Soap Stars, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open, Tom Cruise, TomKat | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 15, 2006 12:02 AM

Top Ten Stories

Whitney_4Whitney Houston files for divorce from Bobby Brown after 14 years of marriage, whether or not this is due to Osama Bin Laden's crush on the crack-addict is up in the air.
Sean Penn believes there's rules for civilians to follow, and then there's rules for the 'slebs to follow. Well, derr, just look at Pete Doherty.
Speak of the devil, he's just had another Jaguar impounded, for failing to pay road tax.
Paris Hilton and Travis Barker (of Blink 182) are definitely porking.
Thank goodness the next series of Strictly Come Dancing will have some sass, as they've added Emma 'Baby Spice' Bunton to the list of despo keen 'slebs.
Graffiti artist Banksy cheats on us with Los Angeles and doesn't return our numerous frantic calls.
It's rumoured Britney Spears has named her second son Sutton Pierce, so he will have the same initials as his big brother, Sean Preston.
Oasis are not happy campers about being forced to release a greatest hits album. Don't worry, Noel, neither are we.
Marianne Faithfull has been diagnosed with cancer, but still intends on touring in 2007. Atta girl.
We've heard the rumours that Lindsay Lohan is engaged to Harry Morton, but could they have married already?

Posted by Katherine on September 15, 2006 in Baby Watch, Britney Spears, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Lindsay Lohan, Musical Stars, Paris Hilton, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Spice Girls, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 7, 2006 8:27 PM

Top Ten Stories

Hilton_arrest_cops_x17Paris Hilton was arrested for driving under the influence earlier this morning, the photo on the left shows her being led, handcuffed, into a police car.
Speaking of DUI and raving loonies, Mel Gibson has left rehab, and is fed up with people paying so much attention to him. Don't worry, Mel, having a stiff scotch will surely help matters eh! 
Britney Spears is rumoured to be giving birth today, by C-section, and will be naming her supposed daughter 'Jailynn', after her mother, Lynne, and sister, Jamie. Yup, Jail Federline. What a knob.
As if we care, but Heather Locklear and David Spade have ended their 5 month relationship, with reports saying David thinks she's an 'high-maintenance bitch'.
But not to worry, as it seems Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey may be back together - perhaps she's clucky after seeing those cute Suri Cruise photos?
P Diddy's girlfriend is pregnant with not one, but two little P Diddlers.
Marcia Cross, of Desperate Housewives fame, is up the duff with her husband, reportedly 2 months gone.
Brangelina are tying the knot viddy viddy soon! Or so Star claims...
Yessss! Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth have split after 4 years - get ready to fight for him, girls.
And as one heart-throb becomes single, another disappears into marriage, with Emilio Estevez becoming engaged to his writer girlfriend.

Posted by Katherine on September 7, 2006 in Angelina Jolie, Baby Watch, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Britney Spears, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Katie Holmes, Musical Stars, Paris Hilton, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Soap Stars, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open, TomKat | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 5, 2006 4:47 PM

Top Ten Stories

Kellyosbournegreenroom2_1Kelly Osbourne fake marries in an inflatable church at a music festival in Ireland. Well, when in Ireland...
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are apparently over, whilst Angelina Jolie is pregnant again - too much information to take in all at once!
The Arctic Monkeys are the favourite to win tonight's Mercury Music Prize, even though last year's favourite was Kaiser Chiefs, and well, we all know what happened there.
Sharon Osbourne's dog bites Patrick Swayze on her chat show. No, not her pussy. Her dog. Although I wouldn't put it past her to let the pussy out of the trousers with the likes of Swayze around.
If you're wealthy enough, and flamboyant enough, you can bag yourself some of Cher's very own outfits at Sotheby's auction house in London.
Keira Knightley is stunned she actually has to pay for something. Life is hard, doll.
Madonna is auctioning off her wedding tiara on eBay, reports that this is due to bankruptcy are entirely made up.
The video of Kate Moss for Agent Provocateur has apparently crashed their server, undoubtedly due to the millions of horny pubescent boys.
Pamela Anderson launches her own makeup line, because the kids aren't slutty enough these days.
You can pick up Syd Barrett's house in Cambridge for just £300,000 where the former Pink Floyd-er lived for 25 years.

Posted by Katherine on September 5, 2006 in Angelina Jolie, Baby Watch, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Jennifer Aniston, Kate Moss, Keira Knightley, Kelly Osbourne, Madonna, Musical Stars, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Soap Stars, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open, Vince Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 4, 2006 7:40 PM

Top Ten Stories

Hilary_swank_newHilary Swank moves on from Chad Lowe just 9 months after their split. What a mananiser!
With-hair-worse-than-Robert-Smith's, Russell Brand's DNA is being tested after being accused of raping a 20 year old.
Al Pacino has a massive Godfather-sized boner for Madonna, despite the leotards.
Geri Halliwell's baby girl, Bluebell Madonna, has apparently been abused. And we're not just talking about her name.
Ho ho ho, the jokes just write themselves, as lantern-jawed James Van Der Beek announces he is writing a debut screenplay about baseball.
Queen and Paul Rodgers throw away their zimmerframes and declare an attack on US stadiums and arenas. At least you'll be home for the prime-time movie on telly.
Samuel L. Jackson is keen to make a sequel to Snakes on a Plane, this time, titled 'Snakes on Crack'. Let's see if he can rope in Whitney Houston for a cameo.
Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields patch things up, cue her entrance into Scientology any day now.
Charlotte Church wants to recruit Tom Cruise for her new chat show, but claims he won't, due to the show's 'silliness'. What she doesn't realise is the silliness hasn't even started until he appears.
Ms. Shoewawa over on our new Shiny Fashion Forum told us about Banksy's Paris Hilton parody CDs, now available on eBay!

Posted by Katherine on September 4, 2006 in Baby Watch, Charlotte Church, Geri Halliwell, Hot Gossip, Madonna, Musical Stars, Paris Hilton, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Russell Brand, Soap Stars, Spice Girls, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open, Tom Cruise | Permalink | Comments (0)

September 1, 2006 4:57 PM

Top Ten Stories

Lindsay_3One of Linday Lohan's casual lovers has apparently bought her a pricey Cartier engagement ring and whisked her off on holiday to propose, no less than a month after declaring she would never be monogamous.
Somehow we don't think this is an authentic baby registry for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline - firstly, he's listed as K-Fed. Is anyone really that dumb? Oh, wait.
Lionel Richie gives his mark of approval to daughter Nicole and current bed-warmer, Brody Jenner.
Thoughts of retirement are far from Madonna's mind, as she starts planning her next album, reportedly meant to be more of the same disco music. Just leave the leotards alone this time, love.
If you care to remember her, Christina Milian is flogging all her clothes on eBay to make a quick buck, sources say she is indeed close to bankrupt.
The filming of Charlotte Church's first talk show episode was apparently a 'shambles' but will be edited well for the debut tonight.
As if we need more evidence on Paris Hilton's more than willing thighs, here it is.
Could Robbie Williams be shedding his playboy image, preferring to jump into bed with his Playstation instead of a woman?
If the sight of Daniel Craig in his swimming trunks didn't turn you on, perhaps his gay kiss will.
Not surprisingly, Pete Doherty has been branded the 'worst tenant in history', as his landlord evicts him.

Posted by Katherine on September 1, 2006 in Baby Watch, Britney Spears, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline, Charlotte Church, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, Musical Stars, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, Robbie Williams, Soap Stars, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

'The Apprentice' Star Michelle Loses Baby

Michelle_5 Sad news from The Apprentice 2 winner Michelle Dewberry. Having told the press that she was expecting a baby with fellow contestant Syed Ahmed, it's now emerged that Michelle has miscarried. A spokesman told Closer magazine: "Michelle and the baby's father, Syed Ahmed, are both extremely upset and are supporting each other through this difficult period."

Michelle was taken to hospital suffering from stomach pains and it was later confirmed that she had miscarried. Syed had previously said: "These are exciting times, although I think Michelle is having quite a complex pregnancy." The couple still plan to marry and Michelle is converting to Islam to do so. Good luck to them both.

Posted by Antonia on September 1, 2006 in Rag Roundup, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (1)

August 31, 2006 12:16 PM

Top Ten Stories

BrianmayIt seems us bloggers have got Brian May's goat, he recently fumed about three MySpace users pretending to be him, and that 'Paul Stanley of Kiss has the same problem'. Ol' Bri should be thankful he's still getting attention, bet Paul Stanley is bloody grateful no-ones forgotten about him!
Our brother-blog TV Scoop has the erm, 'scoop', on Pete from Big Brother's recent £1 million autobiography deal with HarperCollins.
Recent climber-out-of-the-closet popstar Lance Bass reveals that he is incredibly happy since announcing he was gay at the start of summer, now that he has a young buff plaything.
Girls, be prepared to put up a fight, as David Hasselhoff has proclaimed he's returning to Britain in order to find himself 'a beautiful girlfriend. But I don't want some dumb blonde. I'd like a woman who is really intelligent'. Well, Dave, ahem, here's my personal email address...
John Mark Karr (y'know, the bozo who claimed to kill the child star JonBenet Ramsey), apparently wants a movie to be made on her life, with Johnny Depp playing the part of him. Understandably, Depp is yet to comment.
There has been speculation for years about his questionably sexuality, but finally, is this pictorial evidence that John Travolta is gay?
Living up to their 'creative' imagination, scammers in South Africa used Oprah Winfrey's name in a recent scam.
From the same people who brought you Britney Spears's birth cast in stone, Suri Cruise's first poo is on offer, made from bronze, and is reportedly authentic.
Speaking of the Hoff, he's recently asked Orlando Bloom to play his son in the film version of Knight Rider, leaving female minds wondering if the screen is big enough for two oily heart-throbs.
Jessica Simpson finally 'fesses up to using lip injections last year, presumably she is spilling the truth now, as she's only just regained the ability to speak - seriously - did you see those babies?

Posted by Katherine on August 31, 2006 in Baby Watch, Big Brother, Britney Spears, David Hasselhoff, Hot Gossip, Jessica Simpson, Johnny Depp, Katie Holmes, Musical Stars, Relationship Watch, Soap Stars, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open, TomKat | Permalink | Comments (2)

August 30, 2006 6:22 PM

Top Ten Stories

Lindsay_2Could Lindsay Lohan possibly be going sober, and, err, just what the world needs, becoming a DJ?
Justin Timberlake may or may not have binned Cameron Diaz in time for the launch of his new album, Future Sex/Love Sounds. We bet he's not getting much of either at the moment...
Yesterday we reported K-Fed was appearing in CSI, today it's Entourage, as he plays - get this - 'a celebrity's freeloading spouse'. Huh, the scriptwriters didn't have to stretch far, did they?
Should we feel privileged over this? I can't tell - 2 former Blink 182'ers have reformed as a new band (+44), reportedly named after the UK dialling code. Greeeaaat...
Funny that Snakes on a Plane tops the box office only in Australia. Steve Irwin, we blame you.
Celebrity relationships just get more and more aesthetically disgusting, as Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are reportedly a couple.
Sean Preston, (Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's bub), is pronounced a genius, as his first words uttered are 'dada'. Praise the Lord his first words weren't 'oi, you got a lighter?'
Score one for Blighty, as Charlotte Church knocks back Paris Hilton's offer of appearing on her new chat show.
Drats, Penny Lancaster is not content with having just one baby from the lovemachine of Rod Stewart, oh no, they're intending on having another. Curses!
So much for her vow of abstinence, Paris Hilton has moved in with 'Firecrotch' utterer, Brandon Davis.

Posted by Katherine on August 30, 2006 in Baby Watch, Britney Spears, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline, Charlotte Church, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Jessica Simpson, Justin Timberlake, Lindsay Lohan, Musical Stars, Paris Hilton, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

August 29, 2006 4:56 PM

Top Ten Stories

Natalieportman_1As if celebrities aren't already superior to us mere civilians, Natalie Portman dons her battle rags and enters the war zone of Israel, to visit her family despite the war with Hezbollah. Bring us back a souvenir, won't you love?
Thank the lord, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie are reportedly civil with one another now. Is it too soon to suggest a threesome?
Owen Wilson-obsessives, time to hike down to your nearest Agent Provocateur, as he is apparently not bedding Kate Hudson, who is rumoured to be back with her homeless-looking husband.
Elton John proves he is walking ever closer along the path to senility and dementia, as he apparently wants to work 'with Pharrell, Timbaland, Snoop, Kanye, Eminem and just see what happens'. What happens, Elt, is that you'll wind up being shot.
Kevin Federline has landed a speaking role in CSI, where he'll be playing a 'threatening' teenager. At the tender age of...28?
More hope for Jennifer Aniston of staying Brad's parents' preferred choice of daughter-in-law, as they are offended by Angelina Jolie's drunk behaviour and 'tactless' personality at a recent birthday party for Maddox.
It's official, Suri Cruise will make her debut in the October issue of Vanity Fair.
At least the musical will be in keeping with the film version of Chicago, as fellow emaciated singer Ashlee Simpson is set to star as Roxie Hart, the part portrayed by Renee Zellweger in the film.
Not content with just stealing The Office from our fair shores, HBO are set to remake Little Britain to entertain Americans. Somehow I think the Vicky Pollard skits will be more of a real-life drama over there than a comedy.
And apparently Eminem is not a misogynistic so and so, he is, infact, channeling Buddha. Right...

Posted by Katherine on August 29, 2006 in Angelina Jolie, Baby Watch, Brad Pitt, Brangelina, Britney Spears, Britney Spears & Kevin Federline, Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Jennifer Aniston, Katie Holmes, Musical Stars, Rag Roundup, Relationship Watch, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open, TomKat | Permalink | Comments (0)

August 24, 2006 12:10 PM

Top Ten Stories

Katehudson_1Unfortunately Kate Hudson hasn't heard the expression 'you can't have your cake and eat it too', as she contemplates going back to her scruffmeister of a husband, Chris Robinson. Poor Owen Wilson - I know a few girls who would willingly comfort him if need be, wink wink, nudge nudge.
Paris Hilton didn't learn her lesson when her own Sidekick was hacked, as she's recently been accused of hacking in to Lindsay Lohan's voicemail, no doubt hoping to hear messages from their greasy boyfriend-in-common, Stavros Niarchos.
Proving that she is indeed cheap, Britney Spears's autobiography from 2002 is selling for just 99 cents now, which is quite possibly 99 cents too much.
Nicole Richie is officially seeing someone, poor bloke.
Kate Moss's recent trip to Bali was not just an innocent Indonesian holiday, apparently it was meant to be a wedding ceremony for her and Pete Doherty. Shame he was in rehab at the time...
We predicted a book deal for Heather Mills McCartney, and it turns out we were right.
Mel Gibson does not a role model make. So stop taking tips from him, Tom Hanks, on racial put-downs already!
Put your clean undies on girls, as Bruce Springsteen's marriage is on the rocks.
As if Dr. Who isn't scary enough, they've recruited Meat Loaf to play a villain, as if he isn't scary enough.
It's practically an anti-drinking campaign in itself, as Kerry Katona was recently rushed to hospital in fear of her unborn child's health.

Posted by Katherine on August 24, 2006 in Baby Watch, Britney Spears, Hot Gossip, Kate Moss, Kerry Katona, Lindsay Lohan, Musical Stars, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Relationship Watch, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (2)

Tabloid Tales: David Gest heads for the jungle

Davidgest Oh my. It's almost time again for I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, and it might just be compulsive viewing if today's story in The Sun is right about David Gest being one of the participants. You know, the really strange-looking chap who ended up divorcing Liza Minnelli after 18 months claiming she beat him up.

"David is very keen to make his mark on British TV and we knew we just had to meet him," an insider at the show tells the paper. However, there could be a reality-show war on the horizon, as Dave's also been approached to appear in the next Celebrity Big Brother. Either way, he'll be confined with snakes, slugs and venomous predators. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on August 24, 2006 in TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (2)

August 14, 2006 10:21 AM

Big Brother Pete unmasked as 'sex-mad gender-bender'

Bigbrotherpete Tsk to the Sunday People for really doing a number on Pete from Big Brother yesterday. The paper dug former BB housemate Becki Seddiki out of cold storage to tell all about Pete's public tryst with a drag queen, how he waved his willy at passers by, romped with "rubber-clad beauties", dressed in women's clothing when on the job, and snorted stable-sized loads of horse tranquilisers. Even more bizarrely, the paper seems to think any or all of these revelations will somehow harm Pete's chances of winning Big Brother. I'd say they improve it. PETE 2 WIN! [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on August 14, 2006 in Big Brother, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (2)

August 10, 2006 12:40 PM

Top Ten Stories

Simpsons_2Joe Simpson continues to creep out his daughters Jessica and Ashlee by talking yet again about their boobs.
Pete Doherty claims to be 'clean' and in the process of marrying Kate Moss. Dude still needs a bath and a haircut, however 'clean' he may be.
Kirsten Dunst dates a mystery British man, and he lumps her with the bill. Atta boy, that's how we do things here in Blighty!
David Hasslehoff admits to loving being groped by female fans, and also tried to seduce married Kate Beckinsale 'I whispered in her ear the other day at a premiere, ‘I’ll give you everything I have’. She just laughed. But when she met me initially, she seemed very excited.' Suuuure...
Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler file for divorce, following in the footsteps of other failed MTV marriages, in the form of Jessica and Nick, and Dave and Carmen. It's about time someone put a curse on MTV marriages.
Lindsay Lohan gets kicked out of her L.A. home, the Chateau Marmont as 'it is very disruptive with all of her friends coming in and out and her late nights'.
Robin Williams falls off the wagon and enters rehab after being sober for 20 years. Reckon it had something to do with signing on to film Mrs. Doubtfire 2?
Several weeks after Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra split, he is now swapping saliva with porn-star Jenna Jameson. Such impeccable taste in women.
Sienna Miller and Jude Law break up for the last time reportedly. Do we even care anymore? Really, the only good thing about this slice of goss is the close-up of her inner-thigh bruise, tasty.
Anna Nicole Smith wants fellow white-trashee Britney Spears to be her New BFF,
'If you wanted to be friends, I would so much love to hang out with you...I think you’re totally cool and I think we’re going to have our babies about the same time,' as she wrote on her website. Like Britney needs any more bad  [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on August 10, 2006 in Britney Spears, David Hasselhoff, Hot Gossip, Jessica Simpson, Jude Law, Kate Moss, Lindsay Lohan, Musical Stars, Relationship Watch, Sienna Miller, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (1)

Rag Roundup: Lindsay Lohan's tattoo parlour, Nicole Kidman for Playboy, Diddy and James Blunt get pally, and more!

The McCartneys have unaccountably been pushed off the front pages by proper news this morning, but don't worry, there's still a bunch of celebrity gossip in the inside pages. Lindsay Lohan wants to open a tattoo parlour, Charlize Theron gets a rollicking from her bloke, Playboy want Nicole Kidman to pose nude, and back here in England, the WAGs are still fighting like steely-eyed-blonde-tinted ferrets in a bag to get on TV. No change there then.

Lindsaytattooparlour I can kinda see why Lindsay Lohan would want to open a tattoo parlour. After all, she's got one herself, she has a bunch of privacy-craving celebrity mates, and perhaps most importantly, it'll give her something to fall back on when the movie career goes south. Sorry, if. I meant if. Really.

Also in Hollywood, the Mirror claims Charlize Theron was reduced to tears in a restaurant before going to see a Radiohead gig with boyfriend Stuart Townsend. No, not because someone told her they wouldn't be playing 'Creep'. The couple allegedly had a huge bust-up because Charlize arrived 45 minutes late for the pre-concert meal. Given the choice between missing pudding or missing the start of Radiohead, I know what I'd do.

Nicolekidman_1 The Sun reckons Hugh Hefner is going all-out to convince Nicole Kidman to pose for Playboy magazine. "The vision of her with a cigarette in one hand and her knickers in the other as a delicious French au pair haunts my fantasies," says the randy old goat. "I'd better add that she's a terrific actress."

Today's McCartney divorce story in the Mirror needs no words from me - the introduction speaks for itself. "The sister of Heather Mills' first husband Alfie Karmal last night branded her a scheming manipulator who lures men by twisting the truth about her personality." Is this a pro or anti Heather story? I just can't tell.

Jamesbluntdiddy In other news, Diddy and James Blunt have formed an unlikely friendship, which appears to revolve around chasing posh English women and arguing over whose music is worse. Former Atomic Kitten singer Liz McClarnon says she's not ready to join the WAGs, despite dating Swansea City striker Lee Trundle. The implication being that she'll only be a proper WAG when she trades up to a Premiership star, or at least someone with a less silly haircut.

Meanwhile, it's getting devious in the race to star in upcoming reality show Footballers' Wives Boutique. Apparently Jermaine Defoe's girlfriend Charlotte Meares is "shelling out a fortune on hair extensions" in an effort to take centre stage. Tsk, hasn't she heard that Victoria Beckham has chopped hers off?

And finally, reality shows may be scraping the bottom of the celebrity bucket, but at least the celebs are honest about it. Channel Five's 'Trust Me, I'm a Holiday Rep' will star chef Nancy Lam ("I need the money") and ex Hearsay singer Noel Sullivan ("I want to prove that I'm a survivor"), as well as teary royal butler Paul Burrell, mentalist DJ Brandon Block, comic Rowland Rivron, "socialite" Emma Jones (i.e. she couldn't bag a footballer in time to get on the Boutique), and "wannabe model" Samantha Rowley. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on August 10, 2006 in James Blunt, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Kidman, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (2)

August 8, 2006 10:35 PM

Heather Mills McCartney Made To Look Stupid ... And Locked Out As Well

Heather_5We mentioned recently that Heather Mills McCartney was left "glowering with rage" after an unfortunate miscommunication left her locked out of her estranged husband's home yesterday, according to the Mirror.  It seems that Paul, co-writer of such classics as "Yesterday", and such legacy-staining travesties as "Free As A Bird", had changed the locks on the mansion's outer gates, and FORGOTTEN to tell Heather.  There's no other explanation, is there?

A source claimed: "She was horrified to find the gate lock changed. It was a huge mix-up."  Well, indeed.  No doubt Paul was left ashen-faced when he realised his "mistake".  Heather, who had turned up for an arranged visit, sent her security guard over the fence to open the gate from the inside, whereupon Macca's security men called the police, fearing a break-in.  She then requested her chauffeur to drive daughter Beatrice around the block so she wouldn't be upset by the sight of police officers.  Look, somebody's left this stable door open, I'll close it.  Oh NO!  Where's the horse? [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Aigua on August 8, 2006 in Musical Stars, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Rag Roundup: McCartney divorce rages on, Kate Moss back with Pete Doherty, Pamela Anderson fuels pregnant rumours and more!

No earth-shattering stories in today's UK tabloids, but plenty of gossip on who's seeing who, who's looking rough, and who's stuck outside their millionaire rock husband's mansion raging at the fact that he's changed the locks. The usual stuff, in other words. There's also news that Kate Moss is back with Pete Doherty, Mischa Barton's phone-pest pet, and the shocking news that Survivor haven't been asked to reprise The Eye Of The Tiger for the new Rocky film. So who's got the gig?

Heatherpolice It's safe to say that Heather Mills wasn't very happy yesterday. Both the Mirror and the Sun report that she arrived at Paul McCartney's London home for the weekly handover of daughter Bea, only to find that the locks had been changed. When her security guard tried to leap over the wall, the police turned up - cue red faces all round. It's all a big misunderstanding, but the fact that it's splashed all over the papers today will hardly lighten the increasingly public divorce wrangles between the pair.

Katemosspetedoherty Meanwhile, the Mirror reports that another high-profile couple are back together (without scaling any walls). Yes, Kate Moss is back with Pete Doherty, and the couple weren't scared who saw it backstage at this weekend's Rhythm Festival in Bedfordshire. ""You've never seen a couple so tactile," an observer tells the paper. "They were kissing passionately and didn't leave each other's side all night."

Britneyrough Some good California goss today in the Sun. Britney Spears cops some criticism for her dodgy shorts'n'top combo while shopping in Malibu, while Pamela Anderson has apparently fuelled rumours that she's up the duff during a radio interview. And finally, Paris Hilton has cleared up those nasty stories that she made a fat profit from the DVD 'One Night In Paris'. "I never received a dime from it, it's just dirty money and he should give it all to some charity for the sexually abused or something."

Paulogrady_2 Back in Blighty, TV presenter Paul O'Grady has been telling all to the Mirror about his most recent heart attack, which is keeping him off the screen. Meanwhile, ex-Boyzone star Shane Lynch has quit Love Island after reading the Bible ('Thou shalt not risk your career by appearing on sinking reality shows'), while Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding is apparently simultaneously dating footballer Paolo Vernazza and TV presenter Steve Jones. Presumably not after reading the Bible.

And finally... Natasha Bedingfield has scooped the hot potato that is the theme tune for the new Rocky movie at the invitation of Sly Stallone himself... Eva Longoria says the second series of Desperate Housewives was amazing (while launching the DVD of the second series of Desperate Housewives)... and Mischa Barton's cat likes to call her friends on the phone: "He hits the redial button and they just hear purring at the other end," she says. "So I have to grab the phone and tell them it's my pussy."

Posted by Stu on August 8, 2006 in Kate Moss, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (1)

August 7, 2006 8:47 AM

Sunday Rag Roundup: McCartney divorce gets nasty, Big Brother Mikey has plans for Grace, Mischa Barton's new rugby love and more!

Sundaymirror A bumper crop of tabloid goodness yesterday, including the first real indications that the Paul McCartney / Heather Mills divorce is going to turn nasty. Meanwhile, Big Brother evictees Mikey and Susie had their 15 pages of fame - Mikey wants to get Grace into bed, and Susie wasn't ever an escort.

Elsewhere, celebs are eagerly diving into new romances, whether it's Mischa Barton with a rugby player, Lily Allen with an indie drummer, or Noel Edmonds with a mystery woman (who doesn't drum or play rugby as far as I'm aware).

Colin Farrell and Bianca Gascoigne are the victims of kiss'n'tells, while there's also news of Jordan's country pile, the England WAGs' World Cup bill, and which former S Club 7 star is hotly tipped to be appearing in the next series of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Read on for more details.

Heathermills_4 Sunday's front pages were dominated by Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, with the usual 'sources close to...' telling all about the couple's divorce battle. The News Of The World was firmly in Macca's corner, claiming that he feels betrayed. "As Paul says, all he ever did was love her and now she's playing the victim," said the source. "Heather thinks we're all stupid and she can pull the wool over our eyes."

Meanwhile, the Sunday Mirror wasn't quite rooting for Heather, but its source was in her camp, claiming she was hit by a stern legal letter after her nanny took three half-used bottles of cleaning fluid from his Peasmarsh Estate. "They will stop at nothing to irritate each other, no matter how petty," said the Mirror's source. "Heather was speechless when she got the letter." Readers, this one will run and run.

Mikeybigbrother Happier in love is Big Brother's Mikey Dalton, who was evicted on Friday and is already planning the obligatory 'romps' with fellow ex-housemate Grace Adams-Short. "I definitely want to get her into bed," he told the News Of The World, while the Sunday Mirror reports that Mikey took constant cold showers to cope with his sexual frustration. Nice.

Meanwhile, leathery model Susie Verrico was also evicted on Friday, and was promptly quizzed by the Sunday People on whether she'd ever been an escort, following recent tabloid claims. ""I loved being a stripper but I was NEVER a hooker," she said. Glad that's cleared up then. She also denies that it was a fix when she entered the Big Brother house as the 'Golden Ticket' winner.

Colinfarrell Best Kiss'n'Tell of the weekend is movie bad-boy Colin Farrell, who met Woody Allen's au-pair at breakfast, and bedded her three times before lunch. I'm not making this up, really. Unfortunately, she wasn't impressed. "Between the sheets, he is a let-down with only half a baguette in his lunchbox," says 24-year-old Angelique Jerome. "Once he'd got what he fancied - in about 10 seconds flat - he just wanted to go to sleep." Ouch!

Meanwhile, Love Island star Bianca Gascoigne is the victim of a notably un-chivalrous ex-boyfriend, who told the News Of The World about, yes, more romps. There's also a story about a bloke from military TV reality show Bad Lads Army that's notable mainly for heroic punning: 'phwoar hero', 'always has his weapon ready', 'on kinky active service', and even 'thrust deep into enemy territory'. Give that journalist a cold shower medal.

Lilyallen_2 More romantically, The OC star Mischa Barton is apparently scrumming down with an English rugby player, Lily Allen has snared the drummer out of The Rakes, and Noel Edmonds is bouncing back from splitting with his girlfriend by dating an English teacher in Monaco.

OTHER STORIES
- Jordan buying a £4 million country mansion (Sunday Mirror)
- Rachel Stevens set to brave bugs in the jungle (Sunday People)
- England WAGs' World Cup bill tops £1.5 million (Sunday People)

[Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on August 7, 2006 in Big Brother, Lily Allen, Musical Stars, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (3)

July 25, 2006 11:50 AM

East 17 reunion descends into predictable violence

Brianharveyeast17 No, not their fans fighting each other to get to the exits at their reunion gigs. Instead, East 17's Tony Mortimer has apparently smacked bandmate Brian Harvey in the face during, er, a business meeting to discuss their comeback. I'm sure Alan Sugar would frown on that sort of behaviour. Anyway, Tony - who packs a weightier punch these days, it's fair to say - saw red when Brian turned up hours late for the meeting.

Listen up, MTV. If you must do boyband-based reality shows (see our previous story), at least model them on this. I want to see the ugly one out of Westlife battering the little fella out of S Club 7 in front of a baying mob of former Take That fans. With blunt objects. Make it happen TV people. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on July 25, 2006 in Musical Stars, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (3)

Madonna's holiday gear getting flak from both sides

Madonnaonbeach Poor Madonna, she just can't win today. The singer's relaxing in Miami to prepare for her upcoming tour, but The Sun is poking fun at her see-through wet t-shirt worn while paddling, and her head-to-toe towelling disguise while walking back up the beach. Meanwhile, the Mirror has some admittedly-juicy details of Madge's tour demands, which have been sent to UK venue bosses.

She wants a brand new loo-seat every night of the tour, three peculiar-sounding Kabbalah candles, and a Dead Sea foot-spa. Oh, and everything has to be draped in white, plus dozens of white roses dotting the backstage area. It's lucky she's playing arenas - they'd give her short shrift down the Camden Dog & Bucket, I can tell you... [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on July 25, 2006 in Madonna, Musical Stars, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Sun getting ratty with Robbie Williams' Rudebox

Robbiewilliamsrudebox_1 Did Robbie Williams step on Victoria Newton's foot at a press launch or something? The Sun's Bizarre columnist has been rubbishing the Robster's new single 'Rudebox' since Saturday, and she's not holding back. Having slammed it on Saturday as the worst single she'd ever heard, in today's paper she's publishing comments from readers, including one who reckons it sounds like Roland Rat's 1983 hit 'Rat Rapping'.

Still, the song appears to have kicked off something of a web craze, judging by the number of home-made Rudebox vids on YouTube. I assume this has been encouraged by Robbie's record label as a viral marketing thing. Top marks to the one with the granny, and the one splicing the tune with Christopher Walken's dancing in a Fatboy Slim video. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on July 25, 2006 in Musical Stars, Robbie Williams, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

July 20, 2006 9:18 AM

Charlotte Church's religious gags win her an eight-part chat-show series

Charlottechurch If your Nan still thinks Charlotte Church is a lovely young girl, you'd best not let her read this story. Today's Mirror reports that CC has landed an eight-part chatshow on Channel 4 after impressing in a pilot shot earlier this year. The All New Charlotte Church Show will be a mix of celebrity guests, comedy sketches, live music and tangerine-coloured rugby players.

So what impressed the C4 bosses so much? Er, apparently gags including calling the Pope a Nazi, sticking chewing gum on the face of Jesus, and smashing a statue of the Virgin Mary to reveal a can of cider. That distant sound you can hear is the sound of thousands of religious extremists spray-painting their 'VOICE OF AN ANGEL? VOICE OF THE DEVIL MORE LIKE!' protest banners... [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on July 20, 2006 in Charlotte Church, Musical Stars, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 27, 2006 11:03 PM

Sophie Anderton Claims Bracelet Was Stolen, Makers Think SHE Stole It. Who's Right?

SophieReformed drug addict and model Sophie Anderton is facing legal action after a bracelet she was leant by jewellers Boodles has gone missing. Sophie claims: "The bracelet was stolen off my arm." She then reported the incident to the police.

However, Boodles aren't so sure and have called in their lawyers. The bracelet was leant to Sophie for her birthday party and was worth £26,000, according to New magazine. Sophie's lawyer has hit back saying: "Any action against her will be vigoriously denied."

That's all very well and good, but I still can't figure out how someone can steal a bracelet off someone else's arm. Or maybe I'm just being cynical. Again. [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Antonia on June 27, 2006 in Gossip Rag Roundup, Hot Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 20, 2006 9:45 AM

Tales from the tabloids: Is it safer to text-message or smoke crack at 50mph?

Jadegoody_1Plenty of gossip in today's tabloids - some of it's even nothing to do with the World Cup...

  • Jade Goody is snapped text messaging while driving at 50mph, risking a £1,000 fine (oh, and a horrible painful death). “It’s outrageous, she is supposed to be a role model,” says an RAC spokesperson. Although he could be talking about the fact that she’s still famous.

  • The Mirror splashes on Corrie star Craig Charles doing a Doherty (i.e. a four-hour ‘crazed crack cocaine bender’) while being chauffeured back from work. Well, Betty’s hotpot does that to a man.

  • The Sun reckons England’s WAGs (Wives And Girlfriends) face a battle against Sweden’s FOFs (Fruar Och Flickvanner) today, although the Swedes are pessimistic. “They’re the underdogs because the WAGs are so famous,” says a Sweden ‘team source’.

  • The Star reveals that Big Brother housemate Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace (hang on, isn’t she meant to be from the street?) has appeared on a “raunchy” website specialising in shots of ladies in uniform. They don’t print a link, as they’re promising “more sexy photos” tomorrow. Tsk.

  • England footballist Gary Neville is a soft-rocker, says The Mirror. He entertains his team-mates with songs by Elton John, Bon Jovi, Oasis and U2.  Let’s hope England aren’t Living On A Prayer tonight... Yes, I did make that up myself.

  • Ex Hearsay star Suzanne Shaw fortuitously manages to lean out of a balcony in her bra just as a paparazzo is walking past. Fancy that. The Star has the pic.

  • Finally, there's a heartwarming tale of a five-year-old girl who woke up from a coma when played James Blunt’s ‘Your Beautiful’. And no, it wasn’t listening to his album that put her to sleep in the first place, you harsh people.

Posted by Stu on June 20, 2006 in Big Brother, Coleen McLoughlin, Drug Scandals, Jade Goody, James Blunt, Sport Stars, Tabloid Tales, Victoria Beckham | Permalink | Comments (4)

June 16, 2006 4:08 PM

Kate Lawler's Stalker "Hell"

Katelawler Big Brother 3 winner Kate Lawler has been telling Closer magazine about her stalker problems. The skinny celeb started receiving letters right after she won the reality game show, but recently came face-to-face with her stalker at a night club.

"I saw this guy in a white leather cap, with grey curly hair, just staring at me and taking pictures," she said. He later asked her for a kiss, which she refused. Kate continued: "He went 'oh don't be like that, Katie bear!'. That's when I realised he was the stalker guy because that's what he calls me in his letters all the time. After my set, I asked a bouncer to escort me to my car as I was worried this man would jump out at me with a knife."

Sounds nasty. Still, maybe she should be glad that someone still knows and cares who she is. [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Antonia on June 16, 2006 in Big Brother, On Heat, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (3)

June 15, 2006 10:23 PM

Michael Jackson In 'That's Not Charity!' Dispute.

Jackson_1 It hasn't been the best week for Michael Jackson so far, but it's about to get even worse. The troubled singer will not be releasing his much-awaited charity single "What More Can I Give" due to a row over royalties.

The so-called King of Pop would have been due to reap the financial rewards of the tracked, which was meant to raise money for the families of victims of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York. However, Jackson has decided that he wishes to keep the copyright of the song and had no intention of donating the money raised from it to charity. The only 'charity' part of the charity single would be proceeds from the record sales in stores.

Fox News entertainment reporter Roger Friedman said: "Everyone on the CD is supposed to waive their fees too, including the musicians, performers and engineers. But rights to the music remain with him, and he would reap the financial rewards."

Not really the best way to go about getting the public back on his side, is it? [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Antonia on June 15, 2006 in Hot Gossip, Michael Jackson, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 14, 2006 10:08 PM

Pete Doherty - Visited By Jesus?

Doherty_1 The Daily Star have reported that junkie music man Pete Doherty has checked himself into a rehab clinic (what, another one?) in Portugal and is determined to come off the drugs after being visited by none other than Jesus in a dream. Doherty claims the Son of God told him to "pull himself together and repent his sins".

Doherty is also said to be keen to be baptised as he discovers a new, more Godly way of life. Despite previous reports that Doherty's habits have left him massively in debt and separated from his entire family, a source said: "He is considering giving away his money because Jesus said, 'It would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven'."

So, time to start the sweepstake. How long will this latest determination to get off drugs last? Ooh, listen to me, getting cynical in my old age. [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Antonia on June 14, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (1)

Kelly Osbourne Prefers Big Brother to X Factor: Battle of the Stars (which, oops, her Mum is on!)

Kelly In perhaps not the brightest move of her life, Kelly Osbourne has been telling The Sun that she didn't watch her Mum's show, X Factor: Battle of the Stars - because she was too busy tuning in to rival Channel 4 show, Big Brother. Now, Kelly, that isn't the way to guarentee yourself brilliant Christmas and birthday presents, is it?

Kelly said: "To be honest I couldn't tell you anything about what happened on Celebrity X Factor because I've been hooked on Big Brother."I didn't watch X Factor at all. I can't miss an episode of Big Brother, I am a total addict. I really want Pete to win."

Don't we all.... [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Antonia on June 14, 2006 in Kelly Osbourne, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 13, 2006 3:58 PM

BB2's Helen & Paul Split After Five Years.

Helenandpaul_1 Big Brother romances have so far produced a failed marriage, two children and one post sex-under-table failed relationship. Through all of that news, we could hold on to the fact that Big Brother 2's couple Paul Clarke and Helen Adams were still together and going strong.

But alas, it was not to be. The couple have recently split after five years together, have sold their home and are now living in separate rented accomodation, the Sun reports today. Paul told the newspaper: “The last couple of months have been hell. But deep, deep down we know we’re making the right decision. From the day we met, we’ve never had time apart. We need to find ourselves again.”

That old chesnut. That's celebrity speak for "we've been driving each other crazy for five years and we've finally decided to split up, or else we'd murder one another." [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Antonia on June 13, 2006 in Big Brother, Hot Gossip, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (4)

June 12, 2006 6:48 AM

Porn Meltdown for Heather Mills McCartney

Heather_2 Oh dear. If Heather Mills McCartney thought last week's tabloid revelations of her mucky German sex manual were out of the way, this weekend brought even worse. The News of The World splashed with allegations that Heather... (err check it for yourself as we wouldn't dream of writing it) although if you ask me that's still less embarrassing than having written and sung The Frog Chorus.

Meanwhile, the Sunday Mirror tracked down the male model who romped with Heather in 'Die Freuder Der Liebe' (which incidentally our sister blog Bayraider has found for sale on eBay). His view: "She may be a vegetarian now, but she certainly liked her meat and two veg back then..." Ouch!

But the most distressing revelation - also in the Sunday Mirror - is that ITV reality show 'Love Island' has apparently offered Heather £150,000 to appear in its next series. I'm not sure if that's with or without whipped cream though. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on June 12, 2006 in Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

England Star Peter Crouch Lesbian Love Shock

Crouchgirlfriend Crouchaldinho might not have hit the mark on Saturday for England against Paraguay, but he's seemingly scored a winner in the bedroom etc etc. The News Of The World had an innuendo-packed story on the Crouchster's girlfriend Abi Clancy this weekend, claiming that when in failed girl-band Genie Queen, she romped on a bed topless with one bandmate, and "would party all night with the other girls". But what the nation really wants to know is was it Pete's robot dancing that won Abi over? [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on June 12, 2006 in Sport Stars, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 6, 2006 1:52 PM

And Still More Heather Mills-McCartney Tabloid Inferno

The Sun have got the bit between their teeth this week when it comes to Heather (or 'Lady Mucca' as they've christened her). Today's transparent attempt to take the story forward involves digging the creator of the Lovers' Guide out of cold-storage to give his condemnation of the 'Die Freuden Der Liebe' book that's had reporters frothing at the mouth. "Maybe they do things differently in Germany," says Robert Page. Yeah, like not stuffing their sexual-advice videos full of ugly beardy men, presumably. Still, The Sun's story features a welcome return for the phrase 'erect manhood', which hasn't been used to describe a penis since the Razzle letters page circa 1985. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on June 6, 2006 in Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

June 5, 2006 9:10 PM

More Heather Mills-McCartney Filth

Heathermills_2 The FemaleFirst story linked to earlier is a bit coy, given the startling nature of today's tabloid revelations about Lady Macca. Praise be to The Sun then, which as ever is eager to give us the full monty (and body oil, whips, edible underwear...) when it comes to "depraved pornographic clinches". Click on this link for a taster, if you have time in between scouring the shelves of your local secondhand-German-sex-books emporium for copies of 'Die Freuden Der Liebe' . [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on June 5, 2006 in Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

Heather Mills in German sex book shocker

Heathermills_1Not happy with my news last week that Heather Mills is a one-legged trollop? Well here's some more fuel to light your fire. Allegedly she made a German sex-book back in the days of 1988, titled 'Die Freuden Der Liebe'. And no, that doesn't translate to 'Die evil wench who stole Paul McCartney from me, I could've had a chance with him, you trike', (as I orginally thought), it apparently means 'The Joys of Love.' The explicit photos apparently show her having sex with a German 'musclebound hunk'; rubbing baby oil into him; and her being handcuffed as he undresses her. Yes, you can go have a cold shower now, I've finished. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on June 5, 2006 in Hot Gossip, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (3)

June 1, 2006 1:17 PM

Nicole Kidman Bans Sex

Nicole_1Aw shucks. It's enough to make your eyes bleed in sympathy for Keith Urban. His fiancee, Nicole Kidman, has put a ban on sex until their wedding night, apparently following lead from Russell Crowe, who is obviously such a good role model when he's not throwing phones. A source told the Daily Sport rag 'going four weeks without sex will certainly increase the passion on their wedding night,' and no doubt Keith will be err - bursting with 'pent up energy' just like Russell Crowe on his big night. The wedding is to be held on June 25th, near Sydney, Australia, and the hotel they're staying at afterwards is probably a 30 second walk away, if Keith had anything to do with the booking. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on June 1, 2006 in Nicole Kidman, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (1)

May 31, 2006 2:54 PM

Big Brother UK Using Vulnerable Contestants?

SambigbroToday's Sun leads on various organisations slating Channel 4 for the current series of Big Brother. NOT because nearly every housemate makes you want to put a boot through the TV, but instead because there are now five housemates alleged to have mental health issues. The five are Shahbaz, Nikki, Lea, Pete and new arrival Sam, for various reasons. Surely Pete is the most sane (and likeable) person in the house though? But the Tourette's Syndrome Association have accused Channel 4 of 'using' him. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on May 31, 2006 in Big Brother, TV Show Gossip, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (3)

May 30, 2006 6:47 PM

Heather Mills Set To Hobble Down The Catwalk Again

HeathermillsIn order to move on from her break-up with Sir Paul McCartney, Heather Mills is returning to the catwalk, albeit one leg less this time 'round. The couple split earlier this month, apparently due to her 'boredom' with the wrinkly crooner. Heather has reportedly been snapped up by the prestigious modelling company Zone, as 'she's guaranteed to attract huge media interest,' a source told the Daily Star. She barely needs the money however, as it is believed Heather could gain anything between £20 million to £200 million in the divorce settlement with McCartney, leading many critics to label her a 'gold digger,' but I'm sure they're not worried - she can hardly chase after them with only one leg. Snap! [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 30, 2006 in Hot Gossip, Relationship Watch, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (4)

Cheryl Tweedie and Victoria Beckham Cellulite Shocker

Now come on. Nobody seriously thinks there's an ounce of cellulite on Posh or Cheryl. But if there is, they'll have the chance to shift it during next month's World Cup in Germany. The hotel where the England footballer wives will be staying has apparently spent £100,000 revamping its gym with the latest fat-fighting kit, including a machine that claims to beat cellulite using the Power Of Electricity alone. If I was a proper tabloid journo, I'd be kick-starting a 'Are they calling Our Boys' Birds a load of old chubbers?' campaign immediately... [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on May 30, 2006 in Posh 'N Becks, Sport Stars, Tabloid Tales, Victoria Beckham | Permalink | Comments (1)

May 29, 2006 3:43 PM

FA Disses David Beckham's Rapping Skillz

Becksrap As if we needed any more evidence that the Football Association are blithering idiots, today's Sun has a story revealing that New Order were set to re-release their classic World In Motion song for the 2002 World Cup - with David Beckham handling the legendary John Barnes rap part. And the FA passed on the chance, the big ninnies: "He agreed! So did his management," New Order's Peter Hook tells the Sun. "In fact, everything was in place, but then the FA banned it because they had already signed Ant and Dec." Read it and weep, folks. [Stuart Dredge] 

Posted by Stu on May 29, 2006 in David Beckham, Musical Stars, Sport Stars, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 28, 2006 11:46 AM

Axl Rose Hooks Up With Sophie Anderton

Sophieandertson Talk about beauty and the beast. Model/socialite/actually-what-does-she-do-these-days Sophie Anderton has been getting cosy with Guns'n'Roses frontman Axl Rose according to today's Sunday Mirror. Although it doesn't sound like he's trying that hard - when Sophie met up with him, she was wearing a glam gown, and he was wearing... a tatty white t-shirt, jeans and greasy hair. Nice. Naturally, millions of Guns'n'Roses fans eager to hear Axl's much-delayed Chinese Democracy album will be delighted to hear that he's polishing up his supermodel-seducing routines. It's just like the old days... [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on May 28, 2006 in Musical Stars, Tabloid Tales, Thighs Wide Open | Permalink | Comments (0)

Pierce Brosnan's Wife Gets Papped

KeelyPoor Keely Shaye Smith. As if your husband being out of a job* wasn't bad enough, you have to contend with snarky tabloid stories about your weight. Mrs Pierce Brosnan is in today's News Of The World courtesy of several unflattering long-range bikini photos, complete with the obligatory 'Who Ate All The Spies?' headline. I'm more worried about Pierce's dodgy bermuda shorts to be honest. Doubtless this very-much-in-the-public-interest was written by some svelte, stylish journalists at the NOTW. Right?

*Okay, so he'll get other acting roles. But he ain't spying no more.

Posted by Stu on May 28, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 16, 2006 9:54 AM

Victoria Beckham's Tribute Tattoo

Victoriabeckham_2A source has told the Sunday Mirror rag that Victoria Beckham is getting a new tattoo to commemorate the first time her and David slept together. She apparently chose the design after David whisked her away to Paris for a weekend to celebrate their anniversary, the 8th May. 'Victoria hadn't remembered the exact dates - but she was bowled over when David told her during dinner. She knew then that she had to commemorate the occasion with something permanent', the source blabbed, adding that she was due to get '8th May' inscripted on her wrist in Roman numerals. I rather think a picture of a football boot popping a cherry with a high heel stiletto would be a much better tribute myself. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 16, 2006 in Posh 'N Becks, Tabloid Tales, Victoria Beckham | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 13, 2006 7:13 AM

Wonder If Hubby Marilyn Manson Will Be Attending?

Dita_1Venerable sex-kitten Dita Von Teese has stripped for many a cashed-up 'sleb, but I bet stripping for Posh and Becks will be an experience she'll never forget. The ubiquitous couple have booked the burlesque stripper for their pre-World Cup party, an insider told the Mirror 'The party has a slightly naughty theme and Victoria and David just feel that Dita will be perfect.' Now, I wonder what 'naughty' means to Posh and Becks - Perhaps we can expect to see a slobbish, unmade-up Vic drinking Fosters, with David sporting a week's growth on both his face and legs? Anyone got a spare invite to what's being touted as the 'highlight of the showbiz calendar' ? Rats, I guess I'll have to wait for the photos to appear in OK! magazine along with everyone else. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 13, 2006 in Dita Von Teese, Posh 'N Becks, Sport Stars, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (50)

May 7, 2006 3:08 PM

Robbie Williams won't join Take That on stage.

Takethat_2 Although Robbie Williams had intitially agreed to join his ex-Take That bandmates on stage for one of their Manchester gigs, Robbie has now pulled out. The story, revealed in today's News of the World, is that Robbie has decided he is too busy rehearsing for his own forthcoming world tour and preparing for the release of his new single, to join the lads on stage.

However, Robbie has agreed to do a one-off gig with the Pet Shop Boys - something he managed to fit into his schedule. All seems a bit cruel, doesn't it? Never mind, though. The Take That tour is blowing everyone away and is loved by all - who needs Robbie?! [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Aigua on May 7, 2006 in Musical Stars, Robbie Williams, Tabloid Tales, Take That | Permalink | Comments (0)

Britney Spears will never make it as an actress - says her former acting coach!

Britney_4 Ouch. This has got to hurt. Britney Spears has been slammed by her former acting coach in The Sunday Mirror. The coach - who wishes to remain unnamed - has apparently attacked Britney, calling her "talentless" and slamming her "trailer trash" accent. The attack continued, with:  "I can imagine her ruining a televised drama by suddenly staring straight into camera and either winking, shaking her boobs or blowing a bubble of gum. But not all at the same time that would be asking far too much of her."

Blimey. It's also said that Britney refused to read Shakespeare in her lessons, saying:  "I know who he is, know he's dead and I don't want any knights-in-armour stuff."

Britney's latest foray into acting has been appearing as a prostitute in the final episode of Will & Grace. However, a source on set said that Britney seemed stupid and didn't get the majority of the jokes. Maybe it's time to go back to singing, love. [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Aigua on May 7, 2006 in Britney Spears, Musical Stars, Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Darren Day & Fiancee Number Six.

Darren_1 I can't really believe I'm writing this, but Darren Day is engaged again, this time to soon-to-be-Emmerdale actress Stephanie Dooley. This is Day's sixth engagement, but the love rat has so far never made it up the aisle. He's blown a fortune on cocaine and is currently £350,000 in debt. It's also been revealed that ex-fiancee Suzanne Shaw - with whom he had a child - receives no maintenance payments from Day.

Stephanie's friends have apparently told her to think twice, but Stephanie has just said:  "Everyone warned me about his reputation. But he's my Prince Charming - loving, caring and a true gent."

'Deluded' seems like such a light word to use here... [Toni Kelly]

Posted by Aigua on May 7, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 3, 2006 10:15 AM

Lindsay Steals Paris' Greek Shipping Heir

ParisstavrosReports have emerged from Life & Style magazine that, shock, horror, Paris Hilton and her Greek shipping-heir boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos have broken up. And, unsurprisingly, Lindsay Lohan had something to do with the split. Apparently on April 24th, Stavros met with Lindsay at an LA club, and according to a bartender present, 'Lindsay was all over Stavros, at one point, he had his hand up her skirt!' Whilst the bartender no doubt slipped off to the toilets by himself to ponder long and hard over this sexual activity that had him so excited, the young couple fled to a friends Hollywood mansion, where they stayed the night together. An eyewitness claims to have seen Stavros leaving the twiglet's hotel room 3 days later, then the following night they had a sleepover at another hotel together. And what of Paris? 'She's heartbroken', claims a friend, but not too heartbroken to be seen dirty dancing with a handsome footballer at club SHAG only days later. Considering Paris had stolen Stavros from an Olsen twin in the beginning, it's a suitable ending for a renowned she-cad. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 3, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 2, 2006 1:50 PM

The Rooney Sleeps Tonight (In an Oxygen Tent)

RooneyinjuredYes, it's true - at least if today's Sun is to be believed. Manchester Utd and England striker Wayne Rooney is apparently going to be sleeping in an oxygen tent to try and get fit for next month's World Cup, after breaking a metatarsal bone in his foot. The 12x8 tent is apparently big enough for fiance Coleen to lie alongside him - although sadly not her ever-growing collection of posh frocks.

More importantly though, is this the start of a slippery Michael Jackson slope of behaviour for young Wayne? After all, after Jacko was famously revealed to be sleeping in an oxygen tent, it was a only a matter of time before he was a monkey-cuddling crotch-grabbing loon. And kids, if you have to ask who Michael Jackson is, you obviously weren't listening hard enough in Stranger Danger class.

Posted by Stu on May 2, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Jade Goody Can't Quite Run A Marathon

JadegoodyBut neither can I, admittedly. The London Marathon which just took place recently saw Big Brother err... 'personality' Jade Goody collapse after admitting to fellow competitors she had been living on a diet of Chinese takeaways, curries, and beer. She told The Sun 'I was just so exhausted I couldn't carry on — but the doctors say I'm OK. I'm gutted I didn't get my medal, but I’ve only got myself to blame as I did hardly any training.' It could also have something to do with your addiction to slimming pills too, Jade, but your desire for a tummy tuck and boob reduction will do wonders. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 2, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

May 1, 2006 10:43 AM

Junkie Claims There Were No Drugs In Syringe

57371373After been arrested on Saturday following the scandalous photos printed in The Sun, Pete Doherty has claimed there weren't any drugs involved in the photo session, that they were just 'messing about.' The female fan, now named as Laura McEvoy, 21, also claimed she was not unconscious, and was not injected with heroin by Doherty. The group of friends stated they were simply drawing blood to create bizarre blood paintings. Yeh, like the world will believe a convicted junkie. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 1, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Lindsay Threatens 'I'll Have You Deported'

Lindsay'Fo shizzle', as K-Fed might say. It appears Lindsay Lohan has become quite besotted of late with X-Men: The Last Stand director Brett Ratner, who conveniently forgot to tell her he oops, had a girlfriend. Last Monday night, La Lohan decided to hop on over to Ratner's house, but found him in bed with his Romanian model girlfriend, Alina Puscau. Spoiling Ratner's fantasy and not jumping right in with them, a 'loud, messy' fight followed between the two twiglets, whilst Ratner reportedly hid in the bedroom. The fight was finished after Lohan threatened to have Puscau deported, and left. I wouldn't be surprised if she had US immigration officers' names in her little black book, considering the wealth of experience hidden deep between her Mystic-tanned thighs. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 1, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Legs Wide Open

Sienna_1Living up to her 'loose' reputation, Sienna Miller could be mistaken for a Hollywood callgirl these days, after her brief flirtation with her Factory Girl co-star Hayden Christensen, a slight return back to ex-beau Jude Law, finally ending with dessert Nico Malleville, all in a matter of weeks. Model Nico Malleville, born in Argentinia and employed by DKNY, reportedly met Miller a few years back when he appeared in a Burberry advertisement. The pair have only been together 3 weeks, but have already managed to squeeze in a holiday to Mexico, and a wedding. Don't get too excited, it was for a pal of Nico's apparently, not the newly-longlocked Sienna and David Beckham-lookalike Nico. Lets just wait for the sordid stories of an affair with a nanny, or the betrayed ex girlfriend of Nico's splashed throughout The Sun, then Sienna's subsequent retreat to Jude's bed. Yawn...It's like living in Groundhog Day. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on May 1, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 30, 2006 9:52 AM

Benedict Breast-Watch Shock

Headline of the week (if not Millennium) is in today's News Of The World. 'POPE SHOWS OFF NEW BOOBS IN PLAYBOY' is the splash, which will be enough to have millions of Catholics spluttering over their cereal this morning. But damn those cheeky sub-editors - it's actually some model called Lauren Pope who apparently used to hang out with Prince Harry. The papal bosom remains thankfully unsullied by the surgeon's knife. As far as we know.

Posted by Stu on April 30, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (1)

Smacked-Up Pete Is Arrested Yet Again

Petedoherty_3We just had to interrupt our usual Sunday morning slumber-thon to bring you the latest news on the shambolic Pete Doherty. Dude is being a naaaaughty boy again. Photos were published in The Sun on Friday of Pete injecting not only himself with the brown sugar, but a passed out female fan at his flat in Hackney, East London. Police soon arrested him the following afternoon, and are warning he could face jail for at least 10 years after 'administering noxious substances recklessly'. Following the publication of the incriminating photos, Pete left a garbled typo-ridden message on his site, claiming the photos were 'staged', and that The Sun were 'rude' to print them. We're waiting for the 'female fan' to put herself for sale on eBay, we can see the title now - 'Pete Doherty Injected Me With Heroin, Now You Can Buy Me LOL!!1!1!!!' [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on April 30, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (1)

April 26, 2006 9:20 AM

Britney Up The Duff Again?

Britney_3Pregnancy rumours are rife in Hollywood, but none more so than around the cheetos-infested stench that follows Britney Spears and hubby Kevin Federline. According to US Magazine, Britney is due around September or October this year, making the birth of her second tot just a year after her first. Meanwhile, it will be Kevin's fourth child, to different women, once more tightening the link between Kevin and that character from The Simpsons, Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel. Yee-ha![Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on April 26, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 25, 2006 4:52 PM

Pete Doherty Is Back In Jail

Petedoherty_5

You know, if Pete stayed off the crack long enough, he may just have an original thought or two floating out of that pretty head of his. Obviously having just watched 'Walk The Line', he has announced plans to perform at Pentonville Prison, where he infamously spent two weeks locked up on, you guessed it, drug related charges. A source spoke to The Sun recently and said "Pete knows the staff and some inmates from his stays and thinks it will be good for prison morale. He loves the idea of making it into a prison tour and recording the shows." I can hear Johnny Cash turning somersaults in his grave right now, in anger. [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on April 25, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 18, 2006 1:29 PM

Snap-a-Stalker For Charlotte Church

Paparazzi aren't all bad, y'know. Really. For heartwarming proof, read this story about Charlotte Church and the dodgy stalker who spent several hours lurking outside her house. When she sent boyfriend Gavin Henson out to investigate, the man gave a false name and then legged it. Instead of bringing him down with a rugby tackle - a wise move given Gav's recent performances for Wales - he asked a passing Sun snapper (who presumably had also been lurking outside Charlotte's house) to chase after the stalker and grab a photo for evidence.

Does this new celebrity-paparazzo entente mean an end to tabloid splashes of Char and Gav giving each other tearful evils in random pubs / clubs / taxi-cabs? Computer says No. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on April 18, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 17, 2006 3:42 PM

Next Darkness Album to be Bubble Wrapped?

Hawkins Have I gone back in time a couple of weeks? That's the only explanation I can think of for this story in today's Sun, about this summer's Band In A Bubble reality TV show. It's not the idea itself which is puzzling - a band spend a month in a David Blaine-style perspex box in Trafalgar Square, recording an album while passing Londoners hurl abuse follow their progress with interest. Sounds good. But The Darkness are considering being that band? I know their last album didn't sell well, but still. Next thing you'll be telling me that the Goldie Lookin Chain are appearing in Big Bro... Oh. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on April 17, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 16, 2006 7:15 PM

More Lesbian Lust From Angelina Jolie

Jolielover It's Sunday, so it must be time for the tabloids to print another salacious tale about Angelina Jolie's occasional taste for lady-lumps (while also printing as many topless pics of the actress as possible). This time it's Calvin Klein model Jenny Shimizu dishing the dirt about moonlit swimming-pool romps and visits to dominatrix strip joints. Several million Brits probably read this story this morning rather than go to church on Easter Sunday. We're all going to Hades in a handcart...

Posted by Stu on April 16, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Love Rat Blunt Leaving The Country

Jamesblunt Poor Camilla Boler, who James Blunt wrote 'You're Beautiful' for before, er, deciding that there were other women who he thought were more beautiful, and dumping her. Still, she's not letting him get away without a good dose of tabloid opprobrium for breaking her heart. But the real news comes halfway down the story in today's Sunday Mirror...

"Blunt... has told Camilla he plans to spend most of his time in the US," the story says. "It's believed he doesn't want to return permanently to Britain for tax reasons." Sorry Americans, you'll have to deal with the full horror of James' sophomore album, doubtless stuffed with whiny songs about how boffing Tara Palmer-Tomkinson hasn't brought him happiness, boo hoo hoo. Something like that.

Posted by Stu on April 16, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 13, 2006 1:00 PM

Jesse Metcalfe Plays The Field

Nadine You're a bad man Jesse. A very bad man. Not content with whisking Nadine out of Girls Aloud off the shelf, you're apparently also seeing an LA-based model! Apparently it came as a bit of a shock to Nadine when she found that her dream man had neglected to tell her about his relationship with Rochdale-born Laura Shields. But as you'd expect, Nadine is Standing Up For Her Love, to see off her rival. "Since finding out she's told him in no uncertain terms she won't be messed around," a friend told the Mirror. "He's got to make up his mind."

Blimey. One man, two attractive stick-thin women, and an almighty row in the making. It's just like a plot from Desperate Housewives. Next week: Nicola from Girls Aloud is exposed for keeping someone locked in her cellar, while Cheryl Tweedy gets her beau Ashley Cole arrested so she can boff the gardener. Maybe. [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on April 13, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Billie Likes Big Butts (And She Cannot Lie)

Billie_1 Billie Piper has given the nation something to think about this morning - the Dr Who star has given GQ magazine the bottom line on, well, bottoms. Specifically those of other women, including Beyonce and Britney Spears. "I check out women more than I check out men," she says. Given that she spent three and a half years waking up to Chris Evans' pale rear in the mornings, that's not really surprising.

So what does Billie think of her own bum? "I like my arse. I often admire it in shop windows," she says. Right then paparazzi, there's a shot to get for next week's Heat... [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on April 13, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 12, 2006 1:53 PM

Kylie For Glasto 2007?

Kylie When Kylie had to pull out of her scheduled headline appearance at last year's Glastonbury festival, tens of thousands of people were so gutted, they spent the whole weekend drowning their sorrows with psychedelic pear-cider and gut-rotting noodle concoctions. Well, admittedly they would have done that anyway, but you get my point. Kylie headlining Glasto would have rocked. But here's some good news - now she's recovering from her breast cancer treatment, Kylie's down to play next year's shebang according to festival boss Michael Eavis.

"Kylie is coming back hopefully," he said yesterday at the premiere of the new Glastonbury movie. "Her people are quite confident. She wants to do it. I do hope she is fit enough, she really wants to do it." If it all works out, this could be the Glasto performance to top all the other ones. Especially if you're blitzed on cider'n'noodles by the time she comes on stage... [Stuart Dredge]

Posted by Stu on April 12, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 11, 2006 3:18 PM

Everyone's Role In Life Is To Make Jen Happy

JenniferanistonTeam Aniston members, rejoice! Finally there is some positive gossip on the unlucky lass. Page Six have revealed that Jennifer's new film, 'The Break Up', had to be re-shot due to a change in the ending. A source claims 'the original screenplay had Jennifer and Vince's characters breaking up at the end...People want to see Jennifer happy after she was thrown over by Brad Pitt for Angelina Jolie...The new ending has them getting back together in the end. It should really be called 'The Make Up.' Make up, run down the aisle, and start making those sprogs, we say! Quicksticks! Brangelina's due to pop the baby any minute now, we've got to steal their thunder somehow! [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on April 11, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (10)

April 10, 2006 5:47 PM

Paris Hates Nicole? You Don't Say?

Paris_1Regular fame-whore Paris Hilton is on the cover of the British Elle magazine's May issue, and in it dishes out the truth on why her friendship with Nicole Richie went bust, rather in the manner a bored, dressing-robed housewife dishes out pan after pan of bacon to her jailbird husband with half a dozen kids clinging to her slippered feet. Oh sorry, you just interrupted my fantasy about Paris' future. Oops. Follow us after the cut to hear her little pearls of wisdom, including, of course, her feelings for Nicole. [Katherine Hannaford]

PariscloseupIn the interview, she discusses her forthcoming album, ('I've always had a great voice,' she claims), which is due out this June, specifically a song on it titled 'Jealousy.' 'It's about a friendship that turns sour because the other person's jealous,' she claims, referring to her former BFF Nicole. 'I've been best friends with her since I was two, but when I brought her on my show, she just got very jealous and turned on me for no reason. I think she just can't stand being around me because I get all the attention and people don't really care about her.' She later claims 'it breaks my heart. She was my sister. She was the funniest, coolest, best person to be around and then she, like, let the fame go to her head...She's not the same person anymore. I never want to speak to her again - ever.' They may be strong words for the perpetually-glossed lips to utter, but she goes further, by saying 'she looks horrible. It's really sad...she looks 50.'

When not bitching about Lionel Richie's daughter, she is bragging about either her lithe body, or millions of dollars. 'I make so much money I don't even need it.' She goes on, talking of her body, 'when I was 13, I really wanted a boob job because all my friends started to have boobs and I was the only one who looked like a boy. But you know what? I like being flat. I think it's hot. I never have to wear a bra.' You may think it's hot, Paris, but please, for the love of sheer shirts and photographs, don't!

Posted by Katherine on April 10, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Prince Harry At The Spearmint Rhino

PrinceharryIt seems Manchester United weren't the only boys having a good time over the weekend. Prince Harry has continued to live up to his reputation, paying a little visit to the Spearmint Rhino on his time off from Sandhurst Military Academy. A source said 'all the girls hoped Harry would pick them for a dance...The lads argued but they chose a Russian girl with some of the biggest boobs I’ve seen...Harry put his head between her boobs and laughed as she jiggled them.' Great to see the country's hard-earned taxes are being put to good use! [Katherine Hannaford]

Posted by Katherine on April 10, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 6, 2006 6:42 PM

Brad Walks Out On Angie?

1501_pitt_jolie_aTrouble in paradise? Sounds about right, if reports are true that Brad Pitt has walked out on his pregnant girlfriend, Angelina Jolie. NW magazine have claimed that 'Brad and Ange have been fighting like cat and dog over where to have the baby, over whether Angelina should continue to fly and also over her thinness.' Brad is apparently upset Angelina keeps on delaying talk of marriage, and his parents are putting the pressure on them to marry before the bub is born. We can't quite imagine Brad abandoning up-the-duff Angie, only, y'know, ex-hit-TV-show wives...

Posted by Katherine on April 6, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

C.J. Simpson

JessicasimpsonWe've all heard the rumours about the Baywatch movie, now reportedly the powers-that-be have chosen Jessica Simpson to reprise the role Pamela Anderson's boobs filled in the early 90s. An insider said 'Jessica has all the assets to make the part her own.' Assets being, of course, her titties. She recently said 'I have amazing boobs. They're just perfect.' Let's hope she re-enacts Pammie's slow-mo running on the beach, then!

Posted by Katherine on April 6, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Are Wayne & Coleen The New Osbournes?

Nopoopin No, Wayne Rooney hasn't started snorting ants, urinating on famous Texas monuments, and mumbling incomprehensibly when in front of a camera. Well, he's always done that last one. But no, the reason Wayne and Coleen may be the new Ozzy and Sharon is canine-related. Yes, if you're invited round to Chez Roo, you better watch where you're stepping...

Today's Mirror reports that one of the couple's three bichon frise lapdogs is causing a hassle by, well, pooing all over the gaff. Daisy is the guilty party - apparently Fizz and Bella have been house-trained. "It's not pleasant cleaning dog poo from the carpet, and Wayne's had enough," a source tells the paper. Like he doesn't have 17 butlers to do that sort of thing for him.

Posted by Stu on April 6, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 4, 2006 2:07 PM

Wayne Rooney Shows His Funny Side

We never thought we'd see the day when we congratulated Wayne Rooney on his sense of humour, but lo, that day has arrived. For fiancee Coleen McLoughlin's birthday this week, the Roonster bought her a surprise cake, decorated with a bunch of icing shopping bags from a host of high-class brands (and Prada too). That said, it may not have been entirely Wayne's idea - The Sun reports he consulted highly-paid PR experts family members before setting up the prank. The paper also helpfully points out that while Coleen looked "good enough to eat" at the bash, some of her friends, well, didn't - complete with pictorial evidence.

Posted by Stu on April 4, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tom Jones Eyepop Shock!

Tomjones_1Also from today's Mirror comes the terrifying news that if leathery Welsh lothario Tom Jones has any more plastic surgery, his eyes will pop out. No, really. At least that's what his surgeon has told him. It would certainly be a wonderful way to climax the live version of Delilah next time he plays Vegas. In other news, Tom thinks people should stop ragging Charlotte Church for her smoking and drinking - "I think it builds character" - and fends of homesickness while living in LA by buying baked beans and home-made pies from a British shop there. Hollywood starlets take note - get down that store, and NOT ONLY can you stock up on some proper food, but you might get to fling your knickers at Sir Tomford of Joneshire while you're at it.

Posted by Stu on April 4, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tweedy Flees The Country (Maybe)

TweedyGirls Aloud star Cheryl Tweedy wants to elope with fiance Ashley Cole, according to today's Mirror. No, not so they can bask in the glory of plucky Gretna's appearance in the Scottish Cup final. She's nervous about their imminent showbiz wedding. "Right now I'm starting to think I should jack it all in and Ashley and I should run off and elope somewhere," she tells the paper.

Happily, she's too scared of her mum's reaction to actually go through with it (the elopement, not the wedding), so the big day is still very much happening in the UK this August, once Ashley has safely returned from Germany with a World Cup winner's medal. Well, we can dream.

Hopefully soon Chezza will be getting less grief from her wedding planner. "I feel like I'm living with a phone glued to my ear," she says ,presumably forgetting there are worse places for your mobile to be stuck.

Posted by Stu on April 4, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 3, 2006 2:11 PM

For Those Who Were At The Royal Albert Hall On Saturday Night

Robert_smith_1Lovely night, wasn't it? According to the beeb, Robert Smith and co have been in the studio for the past two weeks, working on their new album. The Cure are going to be unleashing a more stripped down sound, without keyboards and other instruments, Robert said  'the idea of playing with this four-piece, without introducing other people, and recreating some of the songs with a pared down sound, is what we are all trying to do with the next record...As to what it's like, I actually have no idea at the moment.' Looking forward to it, Robert, but the keyboards will be sorely missed!

Posted by Katherine on April 3, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

April 1, 2006 11:31 AM

Saturday Livener

Dec We've had our crack team of newspaper gnomes digesting today's tabloids to bring you the most important sleb-related stories...

  • Pint-sized presenter Declan Donnelly is either happily single or desperate to find a new love, depending which exclusive interview you read (Sun or Mirror). The fact that he has a new film to promote is clearly nothing whatsoever to do with these revelations. Co-incidentally, the Mirror also has a story on how Graham Norton is also newly single. Someone should set them up - they could be the light-entertainment PowerCouple of 2006. You read it here first...
  • However, the fact that Graham has just bought a labradoodle dog may put Dec off. G, that's so 2005, haven't you learnt anything from your chat-show guests? It's all monkeys nowadays. Or slugs.
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  • Talking of celebrity animals, Britney's playing a 'hardcore lesbian called Pig' for her guest appearance in Will & Grace, according to the Sun. And talking of girl-girl action by women whose names begin with 'Pi', Pink is quoted in the same paper saying that she enjoyed snogging Terminator 3 saucepot Kristanna Loken more than her own husband. Funny, that.
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  • Kate Moss revealed her inner torment recently to beardy train-controller Richard Branson recently, according to the Mirror. Naturally, she did this over a few cocktails on his paradise island retreat. It's a hard life. The story also manages to shoehorn in references to Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Mobile, Virgin Books Group AND the Storm model agency, which Branson has a stake in. He's a clever man.
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  • Talking of Kate Moss, it seems Pete Doherty's habit (no, not that one) of buying vintage Jags and then discarding them at will is not so silly after all. Pixie-sized presenter Richard Hammond (we think he's smaller than Dec) points out in his ever-estimable Mirror column that by spending just £1,000 on each one - he's bought  eight in recent weeks - Pete is avoiding the "huge depreciation" which new Jags suffer from. "Running an old Jag, throwing it away when it breaks down or gets clamped is actually the first sign of true intelligence that we have seen in the young Pete," says Hammond. Lumme.
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  • In other news, Kelly Osbourne will never release a fitness video with brother Jack - that sound you hear is Jade Goody, Beverley Callard and Anthony Off Big Brother breathing a sigh of relief... That mad woman who got fired from The Apprentice this week is considering stripping for an unnamed 'lads mag' - presumably one of the more obscure top-shelf titles you find at service stations... and Jude Law has taken his kids to a £70-per-night B&B for a holiday, and they're irritating him by constantly singing Who Let The Dogs Out? Good move kids - try alternating it with Crazy Frog and you'll be checked into a 5-star hotel within hours...

Posted by Stu on April 1, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 30, 2006 2:35 PM

Next She'll Be Flying Planes In Paris

0329simpsonWe had Newlyweds, now our precious, virginal eyes could be subjected to Newlyadopted. 'Fo shizzle', as K-Fed would say. Her publicist, Rob Shuter, told The Associated Press 'nothing has been finalised yet, but it is true that she's exploring options.' 'I want to adopt, and I plan to adopt before I have my own kids, the Newlydivorced recently told TV's 'Extra.' She went on to namecheck her idol, 'I think Angelina Jolie has done amazing, amazing things, and the international adoption rate just since her has skyrocketed...It's unbelievable.' Put a sock in it, Simpson, and go make me a BLT sandwich.

Posted by Katherine on March 30, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Heaven Knows He's Miserable Now

Morrissey_3Someone's got his knickers in a knot. (Now there's a song idea...) Morrissey, he of The Smiths fame, has been mouthing of yet again. This time 'round, he's pissed off at, ready for it, Pete Doherty, Kate Moss, Tony & Cherie Blair, the Beckhams, Jordan, Keith Richards, Eric Cantona, the Royal Family, and of course, his former bandmates, The Smiths. That's one sour pussy. Follow the jump for a quality high school bitchin' session.

The interview he gave to Uncut magazine is pure Morrissey class, who else could get away with being a moaning, miserable Mancunian? (Ok, we're sure Shaun Ryder is a candidate). His first victim, Blighty's beauty, Kate Moss. Referring to Pete Doherty, he said 'Kate Moss has just dragged him down to her level...I think it is unfortunate that he is more associated with the media and the press and hoo ha and the silliness than he is with music. It's a terrible trap and he's jumped straight into it.'

When asked about a possible Smiths reunion, he replied 'I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that's saying something for a vegetarian.' As a vegetarian myself, and avid stalker of Morrissey, I'd happily eat his 'nads, I must say. Apparently he recently turned down a five million dollar offer to reform the misery-loving band, but declared 'it has been 18 years since it ended; I don't know them, they don't know me, they know nothing about me, I know nothing about them. Anything I know about them is unpleasant, so why on earth do we want to be on stage together making music? ' I don't know, Mozza, how about the 5 mill?

And those who govern our country? 'I don't like his face, I don't like his expression. I don't think anybody else does. And I can't stand Cherie Blair's face, I just wonder if there can ever be a photograph of her where she has her mouth shut.' Fiesty. Moving on to those other sods who supposedly govern our country, 'The very idea of Charles being king is laughable. You might as well say that Ronnie Corbett will be king one day. I think that would give people more pleasure.'

When asked about modern celebrity, specifically Jordan and the Beckham family, he replied 'I was interested in intelligent celebrity...The word now is so base and disgusting and seems to apply to anybody that is anything but a celebrity.'

Unsurprisingly, his willingness to snipe about his fellow fame-hoggers has certainly received a backlash. 'There have been a few people who have shunned me. Keith Richards ... he knew me, but he didn't actually like me...Somebody else who just completely blanked me in a shocking way, who just completely wiped me out of history', was apparently former Manchester United player Eric Cantona.

Crikey. With so much hate and misery in his life, it's a surprise he can still sell albums. Err...Hey! You! Don't look under my bed, stop it, nevermind what those million odd 'You Are The Quarry' CDs are doing there...

Posted by Katherine on March 30, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Whitney Houston "On Crack"

Whitney It's probably one of the biggest news stories to break in months, but for some, the news that Whitney Houston is allegedly taking copious amounts of crack cocaine isn't that much of a shock. Any regular reader of Pop Bitch will be aware of the rumours for some time.

However, the confirmation of the once-superstar singers' harrowing addiction made front page news of The Sun. The photographs that back the story up were taken by Houston's sister-in-law Tina Brown in the hope they will shock Houston into giving the drug up.

Houston's husband - whom she has long been rumoured to have a violent relationship with - does not escape blame either. According to Miss. Brown, both of the celebrity couple are "hopelessly addicted" to crack cocaine and have blown thousands of their multi-million dollar fortunes on the drug.

The fear is now that her habit will cost Houston her life. When she has been seen in public recently, her once good looks are haggard and she looks older than her years. Two years ago she caused a storm by appearing at an awards show with her collar and rib bones prominent, problems which now seem to have been caused by her long-term addiction to crack.

My, isn't it a celebrity drug week?

Posted by Aigua on March 30, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (2)

March 28, 2006 2:49 PM

Beware, This Will Put You Off Your Lunch

ColinfarrellRight. Two names, and try not to gasp too loudly when you imagine them in bed together. Kate Moss...And Colin Farrell. Yep, he-who-made-a-porno, and she-who-most-men-want-in-a-porno, are apparently gettin' it ON! Well, kind of. The Irish actor and British beauty have been friends for awhile, but lately they've been growing closer, particularly over the phone. A source told In Touch magazine 'since they're both working on their sobriety, they completely understand the struggle. Plus, they both happen to be very attracted to one another.' Or, perhaps they're just trading tips on coke dealers. Just a thought.

Posted by Katherine on March 28, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Gary 'Never Wanna Let You Go', Jammy Dodger

Garybarlow_2Another day, another Take That rumour. We love our jobs, really. People magazine are claiming that Gary Barlow is struggling to keep up with his Take That bandmates, as apparently he's 'let himself go a bit over the past 10 years'. With only four weeks to go until their first comeback concert, everyone within the camp err...camp, have 'their fingers crossed' he'll get back in shape. We've got our fingers crossed they'll scrap the whole event if he's still a little fatty-boom-bah in a months time, anything to save our ears.

Posted by Katherine on March 28, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

He's Not Just A Boy-Bander After All

Justin_1Not just content with Rockin' Your Body, Justin Timberlake is now intent on playing a Rambo-style role in a Hollywood movie. According to The Sun Online, he will be playing an American Iraq war hero in 'Stop Loss', which is to be filmed in Texas. Understandably, producers were worried he wouldn't be macho enough, but Justin apparently persuaded them somehow. Maybe he took his shirt off, who could say no to that body? (Apart from Britney Spears, that is).

Posted by Katherine on March 28, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 26, 2006 2:30 PM

You're Beautiful, Tara P-T!

Blunt_3 Now here's a love story with truly royal connections. He's a top-selling singer who carried guarded the Queen Mum's coffin. She's a socialite who used to hang out with Wills and Harry on their skiing hols. And they're together at last! Yes, James Blunt and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson are apparently an item, following the Bluntster's break-up with long-term love Camilla Boler. At least, so the Sunday Mirror says.

"James has strong feelings for both Tara and Camilla," a friend told the paper. "He's a handsome man and women fall at his feet." We sincerely hope Tara doesn't ever dump The Blunt though - heaven help us all if she provides him with the material to make his next album even MORE godawfully whiny than the last one... In other news, the bloke out of Embrace has shacked up with Caprice. Maybe.

Posted by Stu on March 26, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (1)

March 25, 2006 11:45 AM

Boob Jobs A Good Thing Say Women Famous For Their Boob Jobs

Suncleavage Does getting a boob job automatically give all men the right to leer at your chest? Today's Sun is keen to find out, after the news that saleswoman Sabrina Pace is suing her boss for sexual harrassment, after comments he made following her £4,000 boob job. Naturally, The Sun has its own view - "What is the point of getting enormous knockers if it is not to be looked at?" - but for added expertise it turned to Rebecca Loos and Orlaith OutOfBigBrother. As you would.

Rebecca's view is that a boob job is all about getting people to notice your chest, and says that she often catches millionaire footballers men looking at her breasts rather than listen to what she's saying. Because obviously that's about her high-quality breasts, rather than her poor-quality conversation...

Meanwhile, Orlaith also believes boosted boobs are there to be looked at, pointing out that people are bound to notice unless you wear shapeless clothes, "and if you did that, what would be the point of having them done?" She goes on to add: "I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't had mine done." If someone could write in and tell us what exactly Orlaith does do nowadays, that'd be grand.

Posted by Stu on March 25, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 23, 2006 8:39 PM

Pete's Up To His Usual Tricks

Petedoherty_1Whilst this article doesn't say when it occurred, it can't be too good for the 'clean' image Pete Doherty is trying to project nowadays. Apparently when a Rolling Stone writer tracked Pete down to a ramshackle drug den in Hackney, London, the junkie musician was well on his way to overdosing. He kicked the interview off by snorting and shooting heroin, smoking crack, and popping an ecstasy pill. 'He does all of this casually, and openly...he offers me heroin and ecstasy but not crack. I decline. The more drugs Doherty does, the more he seems to relax. He never becomes inconherent, though occasionally he seems confused.' Naughty boy, lets hope his lawyers don't get wind of this little occurence.

Posted by Katherine on March 23, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 21, 2006 11:33 AM

Bonjour Brangelina!

Bradpitt22Brangelina, or, if you're not up with the lingo, Brad-Pitt-and-Angelina-Jolie, the new four-legged monster, is yet again creating more publicity. This time 'round it's in regards to the location of The Birth, something which will forever be written in the Books Of Time. (Heat's archives) Whilst the bub is not due until May, Brad and Angelina have settled down in France, choosing our close, (rather pompous), neighbour as the birthplace. Apparently this is a dying request from Angelina's mother, who is terminally ill with cancer.

It appears tradition is important to her mumsie, Marcheline Betrand, as she herself was born in France. A source told The Sun 'Angelina is torn between wanting to be close to her gravely-ill mum in America and respecting her wishes by having the baby in France. She adores her mother and wants more than anything for her to be around to see her firstborn'. We're currently placing bets on the new bundle of joy being a girl, named after Angelina's mother, Marcheline. What do you think s/he will be called?

Posted by Katherine on March 21, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (2)

Jordan, The Vogue Model? Bah!

Jordan_4 It seems our Jordan is making quite a splash over the other side of the pond, as the US Vogue magazine has featured her in their April 'Shape' issue. They label her as being 'topheavy', and advise her on the style of clothes she should wear - obviously she won't be following the advice, as she can't refrain for more than 2 minutes from flashing her boobies. Click on the jump to see some prime quotes from Jordan herself, and the Vogue writer's thoughts on our raunchy chavvette.

Jordan is apparently designing her own lingerie range, as she can't find suitable bras in Britain. 'People assume that because you've got big boobs, then you need big knickers...I get everything in America.' She is also planning her new novel, 'Angel', due out this summer. Her publisher describes it as 'Pride and Prejudice in Burberry'. Looking forward to that one topping the bestsellers list!

The writer claims Jordan is a 'living brand. She has successfully payrayed her Dolly Parton-type body towards Brangelina-type celebrity via Martha Stewart-type business savvy and an Oprah-type instinct for female popular culture.' We guess that's score one for Jordan, in the fight against fellow Essex-chav Jodie Marsh. She also claims to be 'the queen of pink bling', something that no-one, not even Jodie, can contest with. We'll give you that honour, Jordan, but Vogue model? That's pushing the buck a bit too far.

Posted by Katherine on March 21, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 20, 2006 8:46 PM

Coleen Is Cashing-In The Pounds

Coleen_maxiAccording to a Daily Mail report, Coleen McLoughlin (you know, fiancee of he-who-kicks-footballs, Wayne Rooney,) has just signed a £1.5million deal with Nike Women. Her hubby-to-be Wayne already has a £3m deal with the sportsbrand, and she'll be seen alongside him sporting her own line, called Nike C. Apparently the range of tracksuits and leotards will carry a 'C' logo, for Coleen. And we thought it stood for Chav. Take a look below the cut to see just how money-smart Coleen is, with all her various ways of cashing-in on her fiancee's fame.

In the last few weeks, Coleen has managed to secure herself a small fortune of £5million. Since February, she has signed a £1.5million contract with Asda (who have tossed out Sharon Osbourne in favour of the younger businesswoman,) to last for the next two and a half years, alongside Rooney. She will reportedly design her own clothing and consmetic range, which we're expecting to be pink, and well, blingin'.

In addition to sports deals and supermarkets, the 19 year-old is also to write her own fashion and lifestyle book for HarperCollins publishers, for a whopping £2million. Life's easy when you're cashing-in on your fiancee's fame, eh Coleen?

Posted by Katherine on March 20, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 16, 2006 5:01 PM

He Can Give Us His 'Goodie Bag' Anytime He Pleases

030706_fam01Reason #138 of why-we-simply-lurve-George-Clooney -and-would-definitely-have-him-behind-that-bush -over-there-if-he-ever-swung -by-our-neck-of-the-woods. He has donated his Academy Awards goodie bag, to be auctioned off by his charity 'United Way' to help the Hurricane Response and Relief Recovery Fund. Apparently inside the swag bag there's a Blackberry 8700c, a pearl necklace, and lots of other goodies that rich Oscar-winners surely have enough of already. He will include a handwritten note thanking the buyer for supporting the charity, and will be auctioned off on their website, March 21st. Our sister-through-second-marriage, Bayraider, will surely be covering the event, and will undoubtedly attempt to steal George away from us once he swings by our neck of the woods. Bring it on, biiiiatch!

Posted by Katherine on March 16, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 15, 2006 3:10 PM

Brokeback Author Going For Broke

Brokeback_mountainIt seems 'Brokeback Mountain' author Annie Proulx still has a case of the sour grapes over losing out on that opulent Oscar at last week's fashion show Academy Awards. She wrote an essay in Saturday's issue of The Guardian, in which she said 'If you are looking for smart judging based on merit, skip the Academy Awards next year', and that the voters were 'out of touch'. She even had words to say about the film which stole the 'Best Picture' award out of Brokeback's grasp, likening 'Crash', to, well, 'trash'. Better get started on a new manuscript then, Annie.

Posted by Katherine on March 15, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

March 14, 2006 5:42 PM

The Messenger Of Peace? More Like Messenger Of Gossip!

Michael_douglas_2Obviously Michael Douglas has been taking a few pages out of his Welsh-wifey's fellow countrywoman Charlotte Church's book. He was overheard recently slagging off his United Nations co-worker Angelina Jolie's choice of men, saying "I don't know about Brad Pitt leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean how long is that going to last?" We just hope Michael's memory comes back to him soon, as he himself is onto his second marriage now, and has reputedly visited rehab for a sex addiction. We'd be a bit more concerned about the state of your marriage, Mikey, than the state of Angelina's affair, if we were you!

Posted by Katherine on March 14, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)

Not Quite Home Alone Anymore

Macaulayculkin01Yep, our faces were a bit like Macauley Culkin's there when we not only found out he's still alive, but he's written a book. And in this tome named 'Junior', he shares with us his nickname for his erm...penis, apparently 'Floyd'. The story just goes even more Tom Cruise-crazy from there, as according to someone who attended his book reading in New York last night, he's got a bit of a cult following. There were apparently 'goths, preps, old ladies and everything in between SCREAMING when he walked into the room...there was a deaf woman who brought up a blown up picture of him which i’m not sure whether he signed, she left in tears and hugged a security staffer.'

Cripes. And we thought everyone threw out their old VHS copies of 'Home Alone' when Hollywood's golden-boy got busted for drug possession all those years ago.

Posted by Katherine on March 14, 2006 in Tabloid Tales | Permalink | Comments (0)