The Rooney Sleeps Tonight (In an Oxygen Tent)

Yes, it’s true – at least if today’s Sun is to be believed. Manchester Utd and England striker Wayne Rooney is apparently going to be sleeping in an oxygen tent to try and get fit for next month’s World Cup, after breaking a metatarsal bone in his foot. The 12×8 tent is apparently big enough for fiance Coleen to lie alongside him – although sadly not her ever-growing collection of posh frocks.

More importantly though, is this the start of a slippery Michael Jackson slope of behaviour for young Wayne? After all, after Jacko was famously revealed to be sleeping in an oxygen tent, it was a only a matter of time before he was a monkey-cuddling crotch-grabbing loon. And kids, if you have to ask who Michael Jackson is, you obviously weren’t listening hard enough in Stranger Danger class.