Top Five Celebrity Drink Drivers: Cos DUI’s are hawt dah-ling

We can’t help it, part of our idolisation of celebs comes with a possibly unhealthy helping of glee every time they mess up, and they make it soo easy for us to jeer at them. Currently the Hollywood trend seems to be drinking whilst driving, which is neither cool nor safe, as not only are they endangering their own lives, they’re threatening ours, which is why the next trend- celebs with prison sentences has been occurring. Now who are the worst offenders?

Number One: Mischa Barton

Oh Marissa, how could you? You were meant to be the Hollywood model child, who had great taste in clothes, groomed hair and a string of hotties trailing you, not an unkempt boozehound in the style of Ms Lohan and Hilton. Just for the fact that you’ve saddened us you get the number one spot, as your history of clean living and 8 hours sleep is suddenly under doubt now. She was caught driving UNLICENSED and under the influence, and possibly in possession of MARIJUANA as well. She’s now been bailed for $10,000 and spent seven hours behind bars before her release. To be continued…

Number 2: Lindsay Lohan

We all know about this troubled girls stint with the law, and her subsequent rehab and relapse into a fuzz headed fruitcake. She gets the number two spot as she managed to make an alcohol monitoring device look like a fashion accessory, pout in her mugshot, and most recently is seen going off the rails with multiple men in one night. This lush lovely is sure to reoffend again, but we hope we’re not anywhere near her when this train wreck waiting to happen tootles into the station.

Number 3: George Michael

He faces the charge of should have known better and really, at your age? Tut, tut. Fortunately he gets to ‘go outside’ (see what I did there?), well stay outside anyways as no jail terms have been given so far. Honestly Georgie you’re 43, can’t you get a driver or something, this is just embarrassing. He’s just had his ‘third vehicular incident in eight months’ which isn’t good however you look at it, and had his second time of being CAUGHT ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL. For real!I I mean it’s kinda the end of the road for you man, why not retire to California and buy a beach somewhere with a nice little Thai Bride?( Boy or girl optional).Come on man, act your age. Let’s stop all this Wham Bam thank you Mam stuff.

Number4: Paris HiltonNow with Ms Hilton you will find a public lack of sympathy for the poor little heiress but I think this is unfair.

So she was born with a platinum spoon up her arse, well that just encouraged her to participate in dubious porn videos with ugly men, and all her money? Well if the Simple Life is anything to go by it certainly buy you brains, so how can we blame the poor lass for driving drunkenly multiple times? She’s just a victim of the society that heralded her as a role model for Pretty Woman wannabees everywhere, and now she cracked under the pressure. I vote we start a save the heiress campaign and all coat ourselves in her latest scent, Can Can, cos if she can, so can you. What’s a DUI between friends, yeah?

Number 5: Nicole Richie

Now here’s a sad tale of a copycat drunk, one who was forever in Paris’ shadow wherever she went, so lost half her body weight so she’d become even more invisible. A terrible case of green eyed envy between friends and a ‘Whatever she can do I can do better’ attitude doesn’t exactly win friends. Skipping the country when you have a deposition doesn’t work wonders either, and then getting preggers to avoid jail? Tut tut.
Now she’s all yummy mummy but that doesn’t fool us- watch this space.

Posted by Zara Rabinowicz on January 3, 2008 in George Michael, Hot Gossip, Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Top Five Celebrities | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

In the news: Maggie Gyllenhaal is sexy and goodybe to Dr Who

-Brad Pitt has been attacked by a crazed fan! The woman grabbed the father of four at the Venice Film Festival and she ran out of the crowd and grabbed him, much to his obvious embarrassment.  TMZ ]

-Is this the end for Dr Who? There are no plans to film a fifth series till 2010 so hard core fans may have to make do with repeats and strange K9 reviews.  [BBC ]

– Maggie Gyllenhaal is the sexy new  model for hot lingerie brand Agent Provocateur. She looks mighty fine![Agent Provocateur]

-George Michael is writing a song for the Spice Girls Reunion. An insider says,  “The girls are thrilled to be in talks with George … he’s one of the most talented songwriters around.” [MTV ]

Google Wars: Fiona Phillips vs. Kate Garraway

Remember the GMTV ‘sofa wars’? No? Well, I only do because I thought it was so pathetic. Basically, it emerged that far from the apparent we-all-love-one-another attitude at morning TV show GMTV, the ladies of the show absolutely hated one another.

So, I’d love to fire up an old argument, so I’m pitting Fiona Phillips (who is currently number one lady) against the sucessor to her crown, Kate Garraway. It was reported a few months back that Fiona was losing her grip on her crown following the departure of Eamonn Holmes, but who’s the most popular as far as Google is concerned?

Fiona is first. And here’s a shocking result: roughly 2,000,000 pages. Of course, ‘Phillips’ is an incredibly common name (though for some reason Google chose not to include ‘Fiona’ in the general search). But ‘Kate’ is a pretty popular name too, so how will she fare? Not well, her score is 93,900. However, this does appear to be on her name alone. I clicked along to page 29 and the articles were still about her exclusively, so although I have to announce Fiona the winner, it’s not an easy win for the dancing disaster.